Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please do not ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away.  Thanks!

Wow!  What a freaky deaky weeky!  It all started when this total nutjob infiltrated our message board and wouldn’t go away, so we did.  Then, I got the coolest news!  One of my netgals, Lori, sent me a package, so I drove up to Katrina’s to pick it up.  Good news was that the package was FILLED with kick ass pictures of handsome soap guys and some hot chick that Lori is claiming is really she.  (How’d y’like that foo foo grammar?)  OK, so I know it’s really Lori, but dayum!!  She be fiiiine an’ shit! 

So that was the good news and the bad news is that I get up there and Katrina’s life is falling apart.  It’s like she took the middle name of “Job” or something (that’d be “Jobe” as in Bible Guy, not “Job” as in Jobbie Job) because that girl’s life is in a shambles!  Anyway, we had a bit of fun and I went home and the next day, I get an e-mail that she’s dropping the site!  I knew she was doing some heavy spiritual stuff, but I didn’t expect this!  After some brainstorming on her part and mine, I think we’ve figured out the solution.  In case some of you didn’t read the announcement, I’m now the manager of Eye on Soaps (she’s still the owner) and I’ll be running it for a while at least.  Don’t worry.  Katrina is still around.  She’s a wonderful writer and I am so glad we aren’t going to lose her columns!  Pretty much, you shouldn’t notice much of a difference, except that her Weekly Recaps will be a bit shorter and her Fatastic Journal will be combining with her NonSoapy.  She says she’s going to get together a NonSoapy soon to journal it all out.  Lord knows she needs to.  : > 

I am a little apprehensive, but I think I can swing it!  One concern is that the main reason Katrina had to let it go was financial and I’m not in a much better place, so if anyone feels incline to donate, go to www.eyeonsoaps.addr.com/help.htm to find out how.  Click on the little globe, let the ads load, then close them out.  Anything helps! 

So I’ve been working on figuring out ways to streamline the site and have it require less maintenance.  While I’m adjusting, I’m going to only do a quickie column this week.  Part of that is also that I don’t have much in the way of gossip this week, so most would be filler anyway.  :) 

Gots nuthin 

Believe it or not, I’ve got something!!!  The Friends Of Brian Gaskill are doing something special for his one year anniversary on the show!  Click here to find out! 

Got one thing.  Pfft.   Nuthin going on there.  Barbara Niven has been cast in the contract role of Veronica.  We don’t know who she is, what’s she’s up to or when she’s coming.  Click here to read about her. 

Oh for...shheeeze, doesn’t Todd watch “Friends??”  Unzip and pee on her leg, Todd!  I gotta stop watching these shows while I’m writing. 

Big stuff!! 

First, A Martinez is NOT renewing his contract in September, but promises that he won’t actually leave until it can be worked well into the story.  What a guy!!  Damn, I’ll miss him! 

Heard a rumor that a major magazine is running a cover story on Kristina Wagner’s reasons for leaving, so I’m standing by the rumor that Flea gest killed in the mobwars. 

Look for Zander to have scene with Alcazar and NotBrendaYet. 

Roy asks Jax to help him bring Sonny down, but Jax isn’t into it.  It might look like Edward is doing a fine job destroying Jax financially, but most of the damage is being done by Alcazar in his quest to take out Brenda’s old boyfriends. 

 I’ve heard Guza is AGGRESSIVELY courting Amber Tamblyn, Stephen Nichols and Jane Elliot for returns.  The ladies, he’s more than willing to recast if they decline, starting with Louise Sorel being considered for the part of Tracy Quartermaine. 

Upcoming GH stuff:   

The night before, Laura is drawn again to the attic and remembers that she came upon Rick cavorting with the redhead and ended up killing her.  Scott and Rick covered up the murder, buried the body and gave Laura (RJ’s, I guess) memory erasing drug.   

This time again, Laura is not alone in the attic.  Rick is with her.  He tells her she needs to forget again and tries to inject her with the memory erasing drug.  Luke bursts through the door. 

Scott realizes that Rick hasn’t shown up for the wedding and goes to his hotel room to look for him.  Lucky and Nikolas find Rick dead in the attic (Hey guys, you finally meet Grampa Rick!) on August 12^th.  They lead people to believe that Luke and Laura eloped and hide Rick’s body (memories of Dead Ted).  They think Luke and/or Laura killed him and are out to protect them. 

In case you didn’t catch it yet, we thought Alcazar’s name was Simon, but it’s Luis. 

What you’re seeing between Sonny and Carly on the island is partly ad-libbed.  Benard says that he and Tamara Braun hardly knew what they were doing or saying...it just flowed and the camera kept rolling.  GREAT JOB!!! 

Don’t EVEN think that Jason and Elizabeth are over!!  Not by a long shot.   

Jason and Liz are going to be dancing around each other more. I guess they're finally starting to heat up.

Do NOT miss GH during the week of August 5-9^th!!!  That’s when Zander is going to pull a gun on Jason, they struggle over it and it goes off, shooting LIZ!! 

Carly tries to convince Alexis to tell Sonny the truth and she considers it for a while, even goes so far as to write a letter to him.  She then burns the letter and FREAKIN’ KRISTINA THE MOUTH finds the pieces and reads that Sonny is the father.  She ends up going to tell Sonny (OF course, which is WHY THEY DIDN’T TELL YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!) and encounters Carly.  Kristina does her screaming, mouth flying thing on Carly and ends up rushing out to find Sonny to tell him.  Goes to the warehouse and KABLOOEY!!  Sadly, she doesn’t perish right away.  She is taken to GH where she mends fences with Ned and Alexis, big dying scene with both of them, then KACK! 

Bad stuff at the memorial service.   

And that, my lovin’s, is alls I got. 

Love you and see you next week!

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