Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away. 

LOVEYS, I'm totally shell shocked!!  It seems like forever since I was here with you!  Since turning into EOS manager, I’ve had a real challenge to make time for site work, visiting my Ho's and sweeties on the message boards, taking care of mom, harvesting the herbs and usual house stuff, but I’m depending on this week to find my stride.  No wonder Katrina was batshit half the time with all she had going on in addition to running the site!  I can’t imagine doing it while raising a whole family and taking care of a spiritual group and writing 7 columns as week!  I definitely have a newfound respect for her!   

Thanks to the contributions of a few generous souls, we have met our financial obligations for the site for this month!  Thanks to all who set a buck or two our way!  We’re going to keep on keeping on for as many more months as we can make payments between me, Katrina and the fans!  We are so grateful for all of the folks who cared enough to right in and suggest the free sites to us, but unfortunately, our bandwidth is such that we exceed the allotted traffic for the free sites and get into the zone where they charge out the yin yang for hosting our site and since we can’t put pop ups on the free sites, we end up losing money.  If you are feeling generously inclined, we can sure use some help with meeting the site’s financial needs for the coming months.  You can learn all the ways you can help by clicking here. 

I also want to thank all of those kind souls who offered their help with site maintenance.  Be prepared, because you might hear from me at the moment of crisis!  So far, so good! 

I can make this column really simple, really fast.  First, I got nothing on OLTL (big surprise, right?) 

I’ve only got a little on AMC and that is to speculate about what they could possibly be doing by knocking up Anna.  We’ve heard the (strong!) rumor that Finola Hughes will likely be migrating to GH as early as February, so if we do a little math, we find that she’d be about 6 months along then.  Will she lose the baby (yet another tiny soul sacrificed on the altar of soap opera convenience)?  Will she leave David and take the baby?  C’mon, ABC, throw us a bone here!! 

And that, as they say, is that for the nonGH news, so lets move on. 

Of course, the most burning and pressing weirdness at the moment is that bizzarro world attic stuff going on Friday.   Those of you on the East coast have already seen today’s episode, but I’m still chomping at the bit.  It doesn’t take much to figure out that Laura, our favorite little homicidal teenybopper, is the one who off'd Theresa Carter, but Darling!  Wait til you hear what is coming next (if you haven’t already...don’t know what the other sites are talking about!). 

A source close to the set has told me that Laura goes total, headcase whackjob and bops LUKE on the head!  He ends up taking her away to a stable to try and convince her of what he’s seeing in the photographs he and Lucky developed and she refuses to believe it. And ends up CALLING NIKOLAS and telling him that (get ready) Luke is holding her prisoner!!  This does NOT bode well for what will happen to Laura when Genie Francis leaves the show! 

True to rumor and spoiler, at the (at least I heard it was at the) engagement party for Skye and Jax, Edward is taunting Skye with the contract and BONK, falls to the floor in a stroke.  As the paramedics are coming, Skye goes Mondo Carpe Diem and is in the process of pulling the papers out from under Edward when Jax walks in and catches her! 

I'm not sure if this is when Jax finds out about the contract, but I'm hearing another story that might be an instead of or a continuation of, which has Ned actually being the one to find the contract and giving Skye an ultimatum:  tell Jax or Ned will.  She does.   

Anyway, Jax finds out and is totally merciless in his banishment of her.  He does, after all, have to free up so Brenda-shaped air at his side.  (It is also rumored that they will, ultimately, reunite in order to get maximum mileage from the potential Brenda-Jax-Skye triangle)  This drives poor Skye right into the bottom of a bottle, which leads to some rather odd circumstances.  She also is blamed for the loss of the oil map Roy picked up for Alcazar. 

Lila supposedly (although this rumor was a while back and might now be defunct) asks Ned to return to the head of ELQ (it surprises me she would not as AJ, since he’s destitute).  Jax ends up turning his own ELQ shares over to Ned, presumably to avoid involvement of any kind with Skye. 

While Edward is at the hospital in critical condition, *someone* pulls the plug on Grandpapa.  Skye does indeed visit him, but is drunk off her ass and can’t remember what happened.  Amy says she saw a redhead fleeing the scene.  Maybe drunk-as-a-goat Skye tripped on the cord? 

AJ sees his blushing bride blushing on all four cheeks as she performs and turns firebug (which writer on the staff is a pyro, I wonder??), setting the Oasis on fire. 

I’m going to be totally pissed if this means the end of my favorite bad guy!! 

C'mon ABC, hang 
on to Blake Gibbons 
just for Sage!!!

Look for this gal to become an important person on screen: 

New Nurse

Dianna Miranda is going to be playing Brenda’s nurse on Alcazar’s yacht and she’s thinking hard about getting OFF the yacht.  When Zander makes his way onto the boat, Nurse knocks him out, drugs him and squirrels him away to help her escape.   

Brenda/Diana is drugged and has a foggy memory of her past and also has an interest in what’s going on shorewise.  She quizzes Zander about Jax and Sonny.   

Alcazar finds out that Zander is on board and bonks him on the head, then throws him overboard, figuring he’s done him in.  Zander survives, but has amnesia and when Liz later finds him, he doesn’t know who he is. 

Liz, on the other hand, has bigger fish to fry as she becomes increasingly drawn to Jason.  Jason doesn’t want to endanger her further by having her in his life, so he’s playing hard to get.  They are about to kiss tomorrow, Tuesday the 13th, but are interrupted.  Things get steamy and they actually get a lip lock on the 15^th.  Yeah, they are going to drag this out.  Liz is going to be an aggressor and Jason is going to ward her off for a long while, but with stolen kisses, longing looks, the stuff that long-assed trailers for sweeps week are made of. 

What’s the return status thus far?  Stephen Nichols?  Not likely.  Amber Tamblyn?  Not likely.  Finola Hughes?   Possible.  Tristan Rogers?  Not contacted yet (WTF?).  Kim McCullough?  No plans at this time.  Jane Elliott?  Says she hasn’t been contacted (WTF again??).  Sounds like the powers that be are throwing all kinds of rumors out there themselves to look good to the viewers! 

Word on Peanut?  None.  The fate of Alexis’ baby is still getting mixed reviews and reports.  Yes, Ned is going to have to deal with some poor health on Alexis’ part, but it has not been officially said that Peanut is a goner. 

Do look for Alexis to do some serious, Charles Bronson-worthy Death Wish stuff in the near future, including turning hard on Sonny by helping AJ go for the throat in obtaining custody of Mikey.  I’m surprised that card is only now being played since Head Writer Bob Guza has always had a hankering for that particular story between AJ and Sonny or AJ and Jason or AJ and Carly.   

Although Nik and Gia are going to be involved in the forefront for a while, it will be about Lucky and his cliff dive and subsequent arrest rather than about them in particular.  The good news is that it appears that their relationship threat is on hold for a while at least. 

From what I hear, the scenes where Lucky and Nik are (again) getting rid of a body (Rick’s) are very well done.  I’m very grateful that these two are no longer on the outs.   

I’m going to step into Dayna’s shoes for a minute and go fashion police.  Honey, I mean to say that the clothes Laura and Lesley were wearing to the rehearsal dinner were an absolute felony offense!  Peeeyuke!!  Also, what, what, what was that evil monstrosity perched on top of Skye’s head when she and Jax were snuggly buggilies at the patio door the other day?  Yikes!  It was something like Joan Crawford meets Kitten from Father Knows Best.  It definitely made my teeth hurt!  Loved the red suit on Alexis, though and she is doing a great job of looked extra-haggard in her grief.   

Good news I considered.  When Alexis pops out a beautiful baby with dark hair and dimples, her consistent taste in men will be rewarded because no one would doubt it’s Ned’s! 

EXCELLENT job of playing dying and dead on Jamie Ray Newman’s part!  She really, really, really looked dead!  Ack!  Gone in (less than) 60 seconds. 

Meyow!  Loved the awesome WHACK Alexis dealt Carly (“This is MY baby and don’t you forget it!!”).   I think Tamara Braun might have actually caught one on that one!!   

Speaking of which, TB has done (giving credit where it’s due, baby!) a tremendously ass kicking job in the acting department lately and has certainly risen to the challenge of appearing opposite NLG in such intense scenes! 

In case you haven’t seen them, here are the new kids on the block: 

    
L-R, Lindze Letherman (New Georgie)
and Evan Bonifant (New Lucas)
reveal on 8/12 at L&L's NotWedding.

And that, my precious, is that and just in case no one else says it to you all week, I love ya, Baby.

*Whew!*  Darlings, I have completed my first week as Manager of Eye on Soaps and I have to say, it was much more of an undertaking than I expected!  I had no idea what all was involved.  Fortunately, I’m hitting my stride and finding ways to pare down the upkeep of the site to make it more manageable.  I’ve received so many wonderful letters of well wishes and encouragement that it is a joy to do.  Not only that, but Katrina is doing so much better after a break and is thriving as a columnist rather than shouldering the full responsibility.  She has a MUCH needed vacation coming up for the GH Fan Weekend in a little less than three weeks and I know she’s going to have a blast. Many of you have asked if I will be attending the Fan Weekend and I’m sorry to say, I’m not going to make it this year.  With mom’s health the way it is, I am just not comfortable going that far away without her and if I take her, she’s going to do to much and be in bed again, so it’s best we set this one out.   Katrina has promised to take lots of pictures and rabid notes!

Now, on to the dish!!

Big news actually hit fairly quietly.  We knew some time ago that Angela Shapiro was leaving her position as head of ABC Daytime and was merely riding out some time until her successor could be named.  It was a dangerous and tense time as we waited to learn who would take over the throne, knowing full well that GH Executive Producer Jill Farren Phelps has been batted from one ABC show to another, leaving disaster in her wake.  With the seeming status of golden child at ABC, we were terror-stricken that she might actually be promoted out of the EP position.  It has been announced that Brian Scott Frons, (who?), former senior vice president of programming for the London-based SBS Broadcasting and ex- vice president of creative affairs for NBC.  What will now happen to JFP?  I have a feeling we will soon know now that this announcement has been made.  I’ve heard rumors that Head Writer, Bob Guza, is actually already working as EP while JFP is in place in name only.  I’ve also heard that Charles Pratt, Guza’s co-Head Writer, is also in line for the EP job.  I’m sure we’ll hear an announcement by the end of the year.  For the meantime, she’s harmless.

Pfft.  I got almost nuthin on AMC, as usual.  Same for OLTL.  I know that there is a casting call out for someone to come on board as a love interest for poor, lonely Tad.  I have no idea what this does for the projected Tad-Brooke connect! 

There are still rumors of Anna moving to GH, at least for a temp shot.   

There is a lot of buzz about how Vanessa’s time in the arms of Death will change her and what was behind all that.  Of course, as you can tell, there’s a lot more to Trey than we know now. 

OH, Mia, such tragic, tragic hair, honey! 

Good to see the old Liza back and in power again.  :)  

OH, Greenlee, tragic, tragic hair, honey!  Who’s gone mad with the scissors in Pine Valley?

Believe it or not, I’ve got something!!!  The Friends Of Brian Gaskill are doing something special for his one year anniversary on the show!  Click here to find out! 

In the “will you notice?” file, it looks like Amber Ryan (Emily) will be leaving town, as she said, to go back to school.  The on top story is that the Troy storyline is taking a different turn and her character has been rendered extraneous.  The under story is that the character just wasn’t working out the way they wanted. 

Are you a fan of the Creek?  Watch for Roger Howarth to check into Dawson’s world as Professor Greg Hetson, Joey's handsome English professor and academic advisor.  Good for him!  He seems to be taking full advantage of his departure from OLTL (you’re watching pre-taped stuff now). 

Here is the olive fork: 

Start digging out your eyes so you don’t have to watch the boring crap that is coming up. 

Who could that upcoming “Englishmon” be?  It’s not Stephen Nichols, unfortunately!  As a consolation prize, think of an English actor who plays an Aussie!  Nurse Spencer might be saying, “Scott Who??” but not until A Martinez is off the radar. 

I’m hearing the same as Gedstern about different endings being taped to the attic story.  On this one, we will literally have to wait and see on the 12^th what will air. 

One of our readers wrote to say she’d been to Ingo’s mall tour and told us he verified that the Jax and Brenda fans are going to love what’s coming up!  If that’s bad news to some of you, baby, don’t shoot the messenger!  I didn’t write the story!   I’m just reporting it. 

A source close to the set mentioned to me that, indeed, Tony Geary is strongly considering leaving the show by the end of the year to tend to personal matters and take some time off.   

We might be seeing some of Helena around September. 

Yet another twist of events results in Ned and Alexis marrying, I hear.  Following Kristina’s death, they will grow closer, although they will continue to resist it at first. 

Edward works to try and get Skye to steal an important oil map from Jax.  Alcazar gets to it first by way of Roy.  

Like I said last week, Edward has a stroke and Skye uses it to her advantage, snatching the contract out of his hands as the paramedics are arriving.  Lila asks Ned to return to ELQ.

Is Brenda/Diana’s memory fried from the accident or from the “medication” Alcazar was giving her?  Which came first?  Does he have Brenda to get back at Sonny and Jax or is he getting back at Sonny and Jax because he wants to keep Brenda?  She knows enough to have an interest in Jax and Sonny and when she comes across an engagement announcement for Skye and Jax, it moves her to tears.   

On the yacht, Brenda’s nurse is actually the one who knocks Zander unconscious.  She is looking for someone to help her and has lots of questions for Zander when he comes to.  They (Zander, Brenda and the nurse) are the three who escape the yacht and the nurse is actually being tried out as (another) love interest for Zander. 

That means, of course, that the Liz and Jason union is off and running.  Look for a couple of false starts, longing looks, etc, but it’s going to be full force soon.  Yeah, there’s going to be some continuation of the weird triangle for a while, but it’s petering out.   

True enough, albeit surprising, Carly gives Liz some tips on being a mobster’s girlfriend, but it’s not what you think.   She’s afraid Liz’s lack of experience in the field is going to get Jason hurt or killed!  In an odd moment the new PodCarly tell Jason that if he really loves Liz, he should fight for her! 

Kristina should be done in the next day or so.  Get the tissues out for NLG moments.   

Is it real or is it Memorex?  Carly continues with her “take care of Sonny’s baby” routine in regard to Alexis.  Alexis goes off on Sonny and Carly at Kristina’s memorial service, accusing them of being responsible for Kristina’s death.  Despite a warning from Carly that she should calm down for the baby’s sake, Alexis collapses.  (Baby remains intact at this point...no word yet on the fate of the peanut). 

Despite Sonny’s concerns for their safety, Michael and Carly move back into the penthouse (can I have their old one?). 

Courtney’s time as a stripper is culminating.  She ends up getting arrested for prostitution and Jason saves her.  Additionally, SONNY ends up seeing her stripping when he’s meeting with Roy at the Oasis.  He offers to help her, but she refuses his help (if I were at a point of stripping, I think I’d accept help from Old Scratch himself...my mobster brother would be a dream!). 

When Nikolas and Lucky find Rick’s body in the attic (after L&L are already MIA), they decide to cover up the apparent murder by putting the body in a car and sending it off a cliff.  Lucky decides to drive the car over and Nik and Gia, for a good cliffhanger (ha ha), think he’s gone up in flames with the car.  He survives and is promptly arrested.  Alexis agrees to be his attorney and Nik and Gia try to help him leave town, but they are discovered. 

As I said, Luke will be back and hang around through Lucky’s trial, which goes on into the fall.  Alexis and Luke will be working together to help Lucky. 

Dat’s all I gots!  Look forward to a great GH (Mansoap) week!

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