Soap Bubbles, by JenJen!

“Put Your Feet In The Stirrups, Courtney Matthews!”

I am going to examine you.

I didn’t know what to think of Courtney Matthews when she first arrived in Port Charles. I wasn’t sure I would go for the whole “Sonny’s Long Lost Sister” story. I wasn’t convinced he needed a sister, but I decided to have an open mind as far as Courtney went and for a while, it paid off.

Courtney started out as a typically smart-assed young woman, which was very believable. Like most young adults, she thought she knew everything and took anyone’s advice to be an attempt to boss her around. Many times we heard her exclaim her independence and intelligence with cries of, “I’m twenty! I don’t need you telling me what to do!” Then she would exit the room in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

All of this fist-clenching, eye-rolling, deep sighing and stomping around started to wear on my nerves after a few months, but I have to say, it was nice that her character wasn’t running to embrace Sonny simply because they share some of the same genes. She saw him for what he was, a criminal, yet there were also moments we could see her glancing sideways at what else he was, her brother. Her relationship with Sonny was written with the appropriate amounts of leeriness and curiosity. I do think it could have been written a little better, but mostly I approved.

There were some hints here and there of good drama as Courtney worked through her feelings for her father and brother and the actress herself, Alicia Leigh Willis, became more and more comfortable in the role.

Then she met A.J. Quartermaine.

A.J. devised a plot wherein he would seduce and marry Courtney to use her against his enemy, her brother, Sonny. This idea was very “A.J.” and played out pretty well.

While Courtney was hiding from Sonny and the world for reasons to complicated to go into here, her new friend A.J. let her stay in a guest room at his posh hotel suite. He immediately started his seduction by listening to her problems, telling her she was right, being very platonic, being very soulful and misunderstood, giving her jewelry, clothes and anything else that could dizzy and cloud a young woman’s mind. Of course, she fell for him, seeing only the good in him, trusting and loving him completely.

A.J. proposed, Courtney accepted, and all of Courtney’s newfound, Port Charles friends warned her that A.J. was only using her to get to Sonny. Blinded by love, Courtney ignored them and tied the knot, becoming Courtney Quartermaine. While she thought life was going well, things seemed to go wrong for A.J. when Sonny did not fall for his manipulations.

Then it got really good.

The normally fiendish and selfish A.J. became smitten with his wife. He began to realize that she really did see the good in him. She saw goodness where everyone else saw an evil loser and she was offering him the sort of unconditional love he’d always longed for from his own family. She saw him as the man he’d always wanted to be. This story of seduction and deception definitely came to be a story of true love. I, with many other viewers, were ready for the redemption of A.J. when, while upset with his family, A.J. got drunk (he’s an alcoholic), and drove himself and Courtney into the side of a building.

The building he hit was a strip club and the owner, Coleman, was going to call the police since A.J., having recently lost all of his money, couldn’t pay for the damages. Courtney, negotiated a deal with Coleman to work there as a stripper to pay for the repairs. Courtney’s love for A.J. and her need to support him in NOT having to turn to his family for money was realistic enough that I didn’t doubt for one moment that she would degrade herself in such a way to try to save him. “Poor Courtney,” I thought, “she loves him so.”

And I’ve been in Courtney Hell ever since.

“Courtney The Stripper” definitely reeked of bad storytelling, but I was wrong. The real bad storytelling was yet to come. When the “Courtney’s Stalker” story began to unfold and we found out it was A.J. behind the stalking, I knew we’d been had. This story was only a device to throw Courtney together with A.J.’s brother Jason. From what I understand, a “higher up” at ABC Daytime decided they would be good together and Courtney’s compelling love story with A.J. was totally trashed. Sonny sent Jason, his friend and partner, to “guard” Courtney from her stalker and immediately, she gave him a lap dance at the strip club and Jason, who hadn’t gotten laid in God knows how long, got a huge “Boner Of Love” on for her.

I thought it was one of the dumbest things I’d ever seen on daytime T.V., but I was wrong again. The dumbest things were still yet to come.

When Courtney finally found out A.J. was the person responsible for “stalking” her, she left him in record time which, considering the circumstances, was the right thing to do. What sucked was that she was already, obviously, being written as “in love” with Jason. The Courtney/A.J. love story was thrown aside as if it had never been real. How insulting for viewers like me, who had been enjoying them and believing they loved each other.

Within about two weeks after her breakup with A.J., the fallout was over. Courtney had a few run-ins with A.J. at Kelly’s diner where she works as a waitress and she told him off and that was that. Despite all her past proclamations of true love for A.J., she hopped right into bed with Jason and almost immediately began professing her love for him, too.

We didn’t even get any romantic build up to Courtney and Jason hitting the sack, unless you count the lap dance for Jason, ordered by the strip club owner (despite Jason’s protests and Courtney’s obvious desire to not do it), and an awkward kiss in the rain. I guess we, the viewers, were supposed to already be caught up in their story of love. I wasn’t caught up at all. Apparently, I missed the day that TPTB sent out the hypnotic beam that was supposed to make me buy into this crap.

Now Courtney is NOTHING like the young woman she started out as and this is not a good thing. She has not grown. Actually, she has de-evolved into a dreamy-eyed, stupid teenager. Not naïve; stupid. There was a scene showing Courtney writing a diary entry, with what she was writing being heard in a voice-over. She actually started with, “Dear Diary,” and proceeded to write about how she was so in love with Jason, blah, blah, blah. What the hell? Do we have some former writers of “The Brady Bunch” onboard?

Of course we don’t. The story would be better if we did.

Now, Courtney, the same young woman who had always kept her distance from her brother because he’s so controlling AND A CRIMINAL is more than happy to overlook that Jason is a hitman (i.e., “cold-blooded murderer”), all in the name of love. Awwwww.

Awwwww, shit, is more like it.

What happened to that feisty Courtney we were introduced to her first eight or nine months on the show? Where did she go? She was an opinionated individual destined to become a strong, smart and self-supportive woman. Now she’s just a stupid girl who’s happy working as a waitress and endangering her own life by living with her murderer boyfriend and playing the part of “the little woman.”

One could argue that Courtney would be in danger anyway because she is Sonny’s sister. That is true, but she was never close to Sonny before and really still isn’t. So yes, she could always be in danger, whether she stayed in Port Charles or went elsewhere, but I would say she’s upping the danger odds enormously by living with a mafia hitman.

I have to wonder what are Courtney’s plans for the future? I am willing to take a deep breath and accept that yes, here we are with a Courtney/Jason pairing and although I don’t like it, I must just get used to it and see where it goes from here, but where is there to go? What would be the next logical step in their relationship if we were to believe this is actually love?

Is Courtney planning to marry Jason? If so, is she planning to have children with him? Like her sister-in-law, Carly, does she not mind the idea of her future children being in danger simply because of who their father is? I guess the idea doesn’t bother her, she is stupid now, so as Forrest Gump would say, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

I realize there are viewers who do not think Courtney is stupid and who “feel the chemistry” between her and Jason. Well, good for them. I’d like to think that there are some viewers enjoying all of this. I also wonder if those viewers have asked themselves these same questions about what’s next for Courtney and Jason.

For me, if Courtney were truly the smart, independent, strong young woman TPTB would like us to believe she is, then she will tell Jason, assuming he ever proposes, that she will only marry him if he leaves his life of crime. Jason is a millionaire after all, and certainly doesn’t need to keep any job, much less a job as a criminal/murderer. Any self-respecting and intelligent woman would make him choose. Any future mother would make him choose.

Oh, but I forgot. The mothers on GH don’t put the safety of their own children’s lives ahead of their own happiness. Carly is a testament to that, so most likely, Courtney will follow her lead.

Does anyone see it playing out any differently if Courtney and Jason are to remain an item? Does anyone really believe Jason will forsake the mob for his supposed “true love?” Most likely, if he does ever leave, it will be his idea and stupid Courtney will actually argue with him about it. Can anyone imagine Courtney having the intelligence and self-respect to tell Jason to leave the mob?

I doubt it and really, I don’t care. I fast forward through most of the Jason/Courtney scenes. They are like nails on a chalkboard to me and I just can’t bear to watch. The only times I’ve glimpsed even a hint of chemistry between the two of them is when a bit of the “Courtney-Who-Was” shines through and she gets a little testy with Jason. These moments have made me see that their love story actually could have been sold to me if it had been presented in a much better way.

Let me illustrate this. Let’s go back to when Jason was first ordered by Sonny to shadow Courtney for her protection. At first Courtney was really ticked off about that. The show should have stuck with that for quite awhile. That would have created some conflict between the two of them and maybe some excitement and chemistry and there could have been some really cute and funny scenes from Jason following Courtney around against her will. Here’s an example of what I would have written:

Courtney complains to Liz about Jason following her all over creation. Liz tells her that Jason is like a bloodhound, he won’t stop and nothing Courtney says is going to stop him if that’s what Sonny told him to do. Now, Liz being the good humored, sneak that she is, would have come up with some way Courtney could at least have a little fun and get Jason’s goat at the same time. She would have suggested to Courtney to go to the mall and go shopping for all kinds of “girlie” stuff, making a day of it. This would force “manly” Jason to have to hang around in the women’s departments ALL DAY. Finally as Courtney browses in the lingerie department Jason would get busted by store security for being some kind of pervert lurking around watching women look at underwear.

That would have been hilarious! If the writers had come up with stuff like that and took their time, I might have been a believer in Jason and Courtney’s love. Also, that would have given Courtney more time to work through her anger with A.J., bringing a more believable end to their relationship. If I could have had some closure with the two of them instead of her being mad and just instantly “not loving” A.J. anymore, like she flipped her emotion switch off, then maybe I could have made the leap, eventually, to a Courtney/Jason romance.

But the writers couldn’t invest their time in making fans, like myself, happy, so guess what? I’m not happy.

Now that Courtney and Jason are shacking up across the hall from Sonny, she has gotten even worse. She’s too willing to ignore what used to bother her the most; that Sonny is a criminal. She just gets dumber and dumber. I am concerned for any young females watching this show who actually view Courtney as a positive role model. Case in point:

Teenaged Female Fan: (yelling and crying) “But Mom, Mad Dog loves me!”

Mother: “But Mad Dog is in a gang and he sells crack!”

Teenaged Female Fan: (still yelling and crying) “I know, but that’s okay because we love each other and our love can survive anything!”

Yep. What a good role model, inspiring idiots across the land.

Symptoms: I used to like Courtney, now I don’t.

Diagnosis: Since Courtney doesn’t have the self-respect or good sense to demand that Jason choose between her and his life as a murderer, then I have to say she has, what could be, an irreversible case of “Stupidity.”

Treatment: Get smart, leave or die. And quickly, please.

Also, she needs to stop getting advice from Carly. Talk about the blonde leading the blonde.