For the week ending May 4, 2001 

The line of the week was undoubtedly the announcer stating, “The role of Carly Corinthos is now being played by Tamara Braun”.  Despite the uproar around the ‘net when Sarah exited and Tamara stepped in General Hospital was not immediately canceled, the seas did not turn to blood, locusts didn’t plague the planet, the seven seals were not broken and the world did not end.  Shocking.  I’m withholding judgment on the latest Carly incarnation until Tamara has a chance to get her groove going in the role but my first impression is that she’s better in three days than some actresses hired by the previous regime after two years.  She’s managed to pick up several of Sarah’s mannerisms not the least of which is the sloppy way she carried herself.  Overall reaction is that she definitely not the worst I’ve ever seen and she could possibly work out if given the chance; however, same cannot be said of Carly’s new plaaaaaaaaaaan.  Funny how I always hear that phrase to the tune of Aerosmith’s “Janie’s got a gun”. 

Going from one viper with a plan to the next.  Skye infiltrating the Qs turned out to be more entertaining than I anticipated maybe because all of the Qs automatically went on the defensive.  Yes, I hate her.  Always have.  I cannot fathom what makes people wallow in that “poor, pitiful me” attitude and she’s practiced that so much that it’s tweaked to a fine art form.  I might be sympathetic to Skye if she had been raised Joan Crawford but she had that whole silver spoon upbringing and granted Adam Chandler isn’t going to win any father of the year awards but she wasn’t abused either.  It’s time to sing a different tune.  This one is exhausted. 

Speaking of exhausted, the Qs have more illegitimate children than any NBA team.  They need to put brackets up in the foyer to keep up with all the new players.  I’m stunned that Monica is so surprised and literally screamed “DAWN” at my television when she stated that they already had “one” illegitimate child in that marriage.  How easily TPTB forget. 

That leads me to the other set of bickering parents, Sonny and Alexis.  I must have missed the scene when Alexis retroactively gave birth to that spawn, even more perplexing is why Sonny is now involved in Zander’s business up to his neck.  I thought he was cutting Zander loose after the trial.  I wasn’t aware that either of them had signed on to raise him since HE’S GROWN.  After the temper tantrum Zander threw over two people caring whether he lives or dies my only advice is: make tracks Zander, see ya’ – buh-bye.   

In other juvenile displays last week, Felicia lost her mind when she {left the house with that hair and} marched into Luke’s office pouting because he didn’t bother to call her for two weeks and promptly threw a little bitch fit culminating in the complete destruction of a high-dollar laptop.  Let’s not forget here that this was a ‘no strings attached’ relationship in the first place and in the second place Luke has honestly been busy trying to figure out how to unscramble Lucky’s brain.  I don’t know what sort of Aztec Princess-slash-Goddess ragweed she has been smokin’ but she’d need to sell some of it to buy me a new computer!  Fortunately, {for me} Luke couldn’t go sniffing after her again because he got the message that Lucas had collapsed and was currently in the hospital, which, coincidentally, is where a lot of the best action took place last week.   

First, Luke witnessed another uncharacteristic outburst from the Luckster.  Then, we were treated to another exciting scene between Luke and Laura and they both get high marks for playing well with others that day.  Then, {snicker} Felicia declares her love for Luke only to be gently let down and rebuffed, taking all of the blame for his lack of feelings for her on himself.  Few men could blow off a woman like that and leave her wanting more.  Back on the Felicia front, I had eerie flashbacks of Bobbie and Felicia looking so worried while discussing a sick child, only to be smacked over the head with the BJ story when Felicia related the entire tragedy to Roy.  Ok, writers, we know. WE were watching then.  You get points for at least knowing the story but you lose points for blatant manipulation.  Also, losing you points is the constant shoveling of Melroy Place into GH.  I’m still not invested in Melissa as a character or Roy for that matter and the more you shovel, the smellier the um, manure becomes.   

Miscellaneous Thoughts and Shallow Observations 

On a positive Alexis note, for the first time in weeks, I loved her scene with the Q family.  She showed no fear of Edward, did little more than acknowledge Skye and didn’t let the fact that the entire family was obviously gathered in some sort of crisis.  I was then shown a glimmer of the Nexis that I love when they stepped into the foyer.  She was impressed by the signed confession.  He was having no part of putting Edward in jail especially to help Alexis help Zander (that’s my Gatekeeper!).  They were almost flirty but too busy with other things to get caught up in it. 

I loved Scotty’s gift to Bobbie.  It was another reminder of the past and how it affects friendships today.  That was a nice touch.  It didn’t hurt that Scotty was looking too cute in his yellow t-shirt and lime green button down, although I do normally object to any article of clothing being lime green except a swimsuit. 

My favorite lines:

Reggie:  {handing the cake cutter to Monica} “For the cake, not the guests.  We have sharper ones in the kitchen.

****

Skye:  I am not the villain here.

AJ:  I don’t know, you’ve got my vote.

****

MyNed:  “What’s wrong with the Port Charles Hotel?”  Thanks Ned…always the voice of reason.

**** 

Megan McTavish’s name finally showed up in the credits last Monday and while I have no doubt that she is responsible for some of the, uh, less than thrilling story we’ve seen before now at least now she can’t deny that it’s her brainchild. 

I must ask again why a NEUROSURGEON is in the E.R. stitching up a thug? 

Ned and Brooke’s picture is still on Alexis’ mantle. 

Bobbie wore the same outfit all week but Roy got a new scrub shirt after Tony stitched him up and he later changed clothes.  Couldn’t any one of the numerous people who visited them at the hospital have stopped by the Brownstone and picked up a fresh outfit for Bobbie? 

Insensitive thy name is Alan for asking Skye AND Rae to stay in MONICA’S house, especially on the eve of their vow renewal and the day before Monica’s birthday and on the heels of yet another cancer scare.   

The Mullet was always a bad idea.  Mac – get a haircut and while you’re there see if the barber can hook you up with some self-respect, then seek ye a woman who can be true to you. 

We were finally treated to a scene with the Stefan I’ve come to know and love when he talked to Nikolas about his renunciation of the Cassadine name/money/legacy.   I saw the man who loves his nephew above all else, including his revenge plots against Helena instead of the cartoon villain we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks ranting at his closest family. 

*Something I forgot to mention last week* Alexis takes Zander, not to the ER, but to the 8^th floor to the CHIEF OF STAFF for a minor burn THEN gets him seen for said burn by a NEUROLOGIST?  WTF? 

Ta!