'Oh
my!' said the Fire Faerie, 'I didn't know
the slit in my dress was that high!'
February 22, 2003
Some funny things I came across:
An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise.
He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey
boy, whatcha got there?" "Roll of chicken wire." "What you gonna do with
that?"
"Gonna catch some chickens."
"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The boy just laughs
and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging
behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in
it.
The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy
walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"Roll of duct tape."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch me some
ducks."
"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks
by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks
caught in it.
The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a
long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"It's a pussy willow."
"Wait up...I'll get my hat."
**********
In Alabama, a guy sees a sign in front of
a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him
the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I
wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time
they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one
of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really
tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle
down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security
work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered
some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a
mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that shit"
**********
**********
http://windward.nodalpoint.net/doc/media/liikenne.swf
**********
**********
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream soda
Ice cream soda who?
I scream soda people can hear me.
**********
**********
http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf
Click each of the horses
**********
A woman and a man are involved in
a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but
amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's
interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left,
but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be
friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "and look at this, here's
another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine
didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good
fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the
cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the
police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.
**********
http://www.eugenemirman.com/
freaky alert
**********
Love & Laughter,
(Cause, like, the alternative is way to grim),
Good God, She's Verbose! There's More!
| Feb 21, 2003 | Feb 20, 2003 | Feb 13, 2003 | |
| Feb 12, 2003 | Feb 4, 2003 | Jan 24-29, 2003 | Jan 23, 2003 |
| Jan 22, 2003 | Jan 17, 2003 | ||
