Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away. 

AMC 

Lord knows I’ve got nuthin on this show.  So let’s follow the bouncing ball.  Richard Fields is, we presume, the father of Trey, but also the father of Kendall, having been the cad who raped young Erica and attempted to rape young Bianca.  Since I’m looking at Vanessa and thinking that she’s not that far off in age from Erica, despite what Erica might want us to believe, (OK, so Marj is 10 years older than Susan, anyway), might we expect a story in which Fields also raped young Vanessa, a fledgling actress who crossed his path?  So this makes Kendall and Trey half-siblings, just as David and Leo are half-siblings, making Trey, Leo and David all halfies and Trey and Kendall halfies, but Kendall, Leo and David are unrelated.  Got it? 

I was going to jump on the “War of the Roses” bandwagon, but A CERTAIN CYNIC beat me to the literary draw on this one, so I shall defer to her seniority both on the site and in sniping this reference out from under me.  It just goes to show that brilliant minds really do think alike.  Suffice it to say, Adam and Liza should be a good watch. 

Spoilers say that Liza gets the goods on Mia.  Does Mia have goods?  Liza already knows that Mia trashed out the money, so what else could there be?  I thought Mia was basically goodless. 

*ahem*  I’d like to see a little more of Frank and Simone, please.  

Baby?  Maybe?  What the complete hell is Anna going to do now?  It’s been about a quarter of a century since she (the character, I’m well aware of Finola Hughes’ procreative abilities and history) cranked out a baby and a mere seconds after doing the happy pregnant dance, she finds out that David isn’t on the level.  Will they do the Hayward thing and hiss and claw at each other for a while, then call it foreplay?  Scuttlebutt says FH is set to move to GH in February and the rumors were very strong from reliable sources.  I keep hearing how happy FH is on AMC and working with VI, so I have to wonder if things have changed.  As much as I’d love to see Anna (hey, and David!) show up in Port Charles, I can’t imagine what they’d have her do.  Strike up a relationship with Mac?  God knows Bobbie, Luke and Felicia can’t have any airtime and those are the only people left who knew her.  I’d love to have her back, but only if they are going to use her (Rather than abuse her ala Rick.  Will we find out that Anna was really a serial puppy stabber?). 

AGGHHHH!!!!  I am once again suffering from Post Traumatic Dress Disorder...this time because of the pain and anguish caused by me having to see that teeee-ragic ensemble that Maggie was sporting at the engagement party.  Choke*puke*wretch. 

Isn’t that Palmer just cute as the dickens?  I do, however, want to pop little Petey’s head off like an errant tobacco worm. 

OK, I’m bored...moving along:

OLTL 

Was I the only one who was starting to think that Viki/Niki might really be dead in that trunk?  It seemed like she was in there for days and days.  In all honesty, the whole basement scene is really starting to bore me and it feels like they use the same script every day. 

August 30^th, mark yer calendars, B&B fans.  That will be the last day you’ll see Ben and Viki on screen for quite a while.  Mark Derwin is heading out here to do Life With Bonnie and Erika Slezak will be going on her summer vacation.  Viki will be back with some perfectly logical reason why Ben isn’t with her.  Gary Tomlin, EP for the show, tells us that Niki is gone but we STILL don’t know what the damned secret was!  From what he’s hinting about, some QUALIFIED mental health person is going to help Viki find out eventually.  I can’t believe we waited all this time NOT to find out.  *pout*  Anyway, on the 30^th, there’s supposed to be a big shot montage of Ben and Viki moments for our viewing pleasure.  Tomlin does say that   

Good for Jessica for having the class to apologize to Natalie for being such a PMS harpy to her this month.  She might just ease back into my good graces before she leaves the show. 

WHAT??  Asa gets married?  This Friday??  To Rae??  THAT was in her list of demands?  Rumor, darling, but DAMN!!  With Rae so down on her luck, it would be a wise blackmail move! 

Blessed relief.  Word is that Todd, Tea and Ross will be finished with the island crap about the middle of September, it will be final air dates for all concerned and it won’t be a happy ending.  Who cares?  Just put this beast out of my misery.  Also, I hear that ABC is negotiating for a brief Roger Howarth return around December. 

And yes, our Alison will be carted away once and for it, it seems.  August 27^th will be her last day and she’ll go out with a bang!  As Bo, Ben and Antonio descend upon Viki’s cabin, a shot is fired and a major character is hit.  I’m hearing it’s Lindsay (which is why she doesn’t go away with Allison).  Surely it’s not already Jessica!  Anyway, there’s no word of anyone leaving the show, so I don’t imagine it’s fatal.  The weird thing is that Mollie (and as I read this, I have to confess that it took me a good 3-4 minutes to remember just exactly who the hell Mollie is) gets into the middles of all of this and is also taken hostage by Allison.  I’m not exactly sure why I just can’t seem to attach onto either Mollie or Chad (although he does appear to be a good kisser!).   I feel nothing but apathy toward either of them. 

There is also a lot of action with Jen continuing this whole bait game she’s playing with Cris and Natalie.  Good God, I wish that girl would go back to where ever she came from.  She can crawl back up into Lindsay’s uterus and suck her thumb for the rest of eternity for all I care, but she’s making me want to pluck out my eyes and throw them in the pearl onion bucket of the nearest salad bar.   Darling, has there just NEVER been such an annoying character on the planet?  To borrow and idea from Katrina, maybe I could pick her up and beat Al to death with her and convince the doofuses (doofi?) at the LPD that it was a pedestrian accident!  I sincerely hope Al does win his woman and takes her far, far from Llanview.  And another thing, didn’t that guy Michael Tipps at least look as though he might have crept out of the loins of Gabrielle and Max?  This guy gives us the distinct impression that Gabrielle was fooling around with Puddy from Seinfeld.

GH 

Katrina learned this week that open taping of GH has ceased for the time being and tapings are now only being viewed by staff members.  What the hell are these guys up to?  The set has been on lock down as far as info for a while now and getting good scoop is like squeezing orange juice from a rock.  

So what do I have?  Not much. 

People are all in a panic because there is a spoiler that says that Jason “will be drawn” to Courtney.  Think about it, folks.  I told you a while back that since the public (well, a good piece of them) want Jason and Liz together, it’s going to be draggggged out until November sweeps.  Is Jason going to sleep with Courtney.  Pfft.  No.  I can’t imagine that he will.  Jason is going to feel protective of Courtney and that’s about it.  It’s all part of the process to keep us waiting until they are good and ready to give us what they want.  November sweeps.  Bank on it.  A lot will happen in the meantime (including a strong and reliable rumor that Jason is going to move Liz into the penthouse to keep her safe just after Labor Day) to kindle the fire even more.  If you can’t bear it, don’t watch, but the train is still rolling in the same direction.  It’s just working at half steam and stopping to pick up and left off passengers along the way.  Did I tell you that Sonny and Carly were going to get back together and remarry.  Yes I did.  Did you guys believe me?  No.  About half of you gave up and bailed on me.  Am I telling you Jason and Liz are going to be together.  Yes I am.  Believe it.  Don’t believe it.  It’s nothing on me.  I’m just telling you what’s going to happen.  November. 

Likewise on the naysayers who are out there fussing about Brenda and Jax.  Yes.  Brenda and Jax are going to reheat.  That’s all there is to it.  No.  Brenda and Sonny are not going to be together.  The powers that be like Sonny right where he is with Carly.  That ain’t going to change, even though Carly might get a little uncomfortable and catty when Brenda shows up.  

Skye, however, is going to be in the market for a new man.  Since I got about a hundred letters from people who didn’t understand what I said the last time, I’m going to say it more simply and specifically. 

Skye and Jax are going to hit the skids.  He is going to find out about the deal with Edward and be unrelenting.  He just told her that he does not tolerate betrayal and will exact dire revenge on those who seek to subdue him.  She had a couple of chances to come clean with him and tell him the truth and she didn’t.  Jax ain’t gonna play dat.  When he finds out what she has done, there will be no mercy.  But I did say a triangle and a triangle it will be.  Skye, of course, will be working double time to get him back and might come close to succeeding, right about the time that he finds out that Brenda needs his help.  He hops on the white horse, runs to her rescue, tramples Skye a bit in the process, they try to continue on, but the connect to Brenda is too strong and they can’t make it.  Skye then hooks up with someone else and because Head Writers Guza and Pratt love Robin Christopher, she is going to get a kick ass story.  So Ingo is going to get a great, romantic story.  Skye is going to get a wonderful story, but it’s just not going to be together. 

Yes, despite the coming hardships, fires, etc, I do believe AJ and Courtney will stay together. 

The current return/no return status of GH alumni, as far as I know: 

Tracy Q/Jane Elliott – Likely on both counts, she’s eager, Guza wants her.

Emily/Amber – Guza says he wants her, rumor is that her dad doesn’t think it’s good for her career, her official word is she hasn’t been contacted.

Stefan/Stephen – Guza wants him back...badly...he isn’t likely to return under the current regime.

Robin/Kim McC – She claims she hasn’t been asked and has not intention of returning at this time.

Lucky/Jonathan Jackson – Nah.  This is purely an internet rumor based on Jacob Young leaving the show in the fall.

Anna/Finola – Maybe...rumors are strong, but she’s also very happy on AMC.

Robert/Tristan R – Says he has not been contacted...also is busy working as a director.

Duke/Ian Buchanan – Nope.  Bold and Beautiful has him nailed down tight.

Helena/Constance Towers – Not for a while, but will return eventually.   

Jerry Jacks/Julian Stone - Heavily rumored for a year now, reality unknown.

There is also rumor that there was a miscommunication about Flea being killed off and when people heard Kristina was going to die, they thought it meant Kristina Wagner.  Um, I think the info was actually pretty specific to Felicia, so I’m not convinced on that one yet and still think she might go.  

Jacob Young is a pretty definite departure in the fall.  

Genie Francis is already gone, but will be shown from time to time in footage already taped.  Laura is truly going to go nuts and not have a dignified exit from what I hear.  Such a shame.  There will be a Luke and Laura wedding, but we’re talkin tiny. 

Tony Geary will return for the trial, but it is unknown for how long and rumored that he will take the fall for the murder himself to protect Lucky and Laura.  

A Martinez is leaving this fall as well, although the means of Roy’s exit is not yet known. 

I don’t know any more about Zander’s amnesia than I’ve previously written.  Don’t know how long it lasts.  Don’t know what happens afterward.  I’ve heard he gets hold of a gun while in that state and I’ve heard Sonny gets shot, but with all of the people who have it out for Sonny, I doubt it’s Zander who does the deed.  Shot...not killed. 

Along the Not Dead route, Edward also is going to hang around.  Skye is arrested for attempted murder. 

The peanut is secure for now, although still, not final decision has been made. 

Vanessa Marcil is currently taping and will air in her true form just after Labor Day.  I head that Brenda is convinced she has her mother’s illness, but Jax learns from her physician (the one who sent the results he burned after her “death”) that she DOESN’T actually have it and only thinks she does because of Alcazar’s drugs. 

NuGeorgie shows up on Sept 3; NuLucas on Sept 6^th.  Robyn Richards is also back soon.  No word on why the kids’ first scenes were cut from the wedding. 

The custody battle for Michael is going to heat up again and there will be a lot of energy invested into the outcome. 

And that, folks, is all I’ve got to say about that.  Everything I know so far, I’ve included in this column.  As I know more, I’ll print more. 

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