December 1, 2003

It has been two months exactly since I have had a column posted and I honestly cannot believe it myself! I mean, I obviously realize that I haven’t written squat in what feels like forever, but I’m having a hard time digesting the fact that while there were definitely some personal extenuating circumstances that made it hard for me to make time to write, I also just didn’t have anything that I felt was worth saying about GH. We’ll get into the reasons later, let’s start first with what’s been going on since I last wrote.

Oh wait; I’m rethinking that last part there. Maybe we should just go ahead and jump into recent events because you’re all GH viewers and goodness knows you’re adept at filling in the blanks on your own to somehow form a cohesive story out of the bits and pieces the writers throw at you. Okay, so here goes…

I couldn’t be more pleased that Carly is “detached” and Sonny’s to blame. Not that he sees it that way of course, and I really cannot go into the whole shooting thing with too much detail because I’ll get off on a tangent and one heck of a rant about why Sonny seemed to think everybody but himself was to blame. Suffice it to say that I don’t really believe Sonny has quite accepted the responsibility yet for his actions, regardless of what he mumbled to God in the chapel. That aside though, I’m quite enjoying the Corinthos couple’s emotional estrangement. It’s fabulous, frankly. Carly has been more tolerable than usual to me and kudos to Tamara Braun for a few well-executed scenes scattered in among the so-so scenes. The writing has been inconsistent as usual, and I’m thinking most anyone could fake cooing at a baby better than Carly does, but whatever. Sure took Sonny long enough to notice that she was treating Morgan like he’s a dirty diaper. I do think it’s a very bad idea for Carly to be handing Morgan off to Courtney all the time instead of Leticia, it isn’t good to mess up the natural flow of the universe that way and everybody knows that Carly’s kids always end up with Leticia. I’m fairly certain I’m supposed to feel bad for Sonny, but it isn’t happening so far. When he told Jason that he bought Carly some candy and she liked it, so Jason ought to just shut up about any trouble Carly might be having…at that exact moment… I realized that Sonny’s dumb ass-ness is incomparable. I’ve always been a sucker for Sonny’s tears, and this time is no exception I’ll admit. When his face starts to screw up (followed closely by the “that’s all I can eek out so I gotta cover my face with my hand at this point” gesture), I do still feel a tug or two. Lucky for him really, because that’s all that keeps me connected to anything positive I ever felt about Sonny.

I’m one of the three people that thought it was great that Courtney took those kids and left town. Sure, in theory, she should’ve been safer with Jason’s protection, but that’s been proven untrue so many times it has more holes in it than Lorenzo’s bullet proof vest. I started liking Courtney a little more (and Jason with Courtney even) when the kids were under her care. She knew as much about taking a newborn home as any new mom does, so I had no problem with her stepping in. Beyond that, I do of course realize that she’s going a little nutso about the kids so don’t get me wrong. She’s obviously in need of some serious therapy where that’s concerned, but who in PC isn’t in need of serious therapy? I’m really enjoying her newfound (albeit delayed, but in her defense we must assume that she actually got to lay eyes on Jason’s chest when they had sex even if we never have the privilege…if I remember correctly that could give a woman cause to lose her way temporarily) conscience and I hope it lasts. Jason has become completely irrelevant to me, which is a bit scary given that I used to enjoy him so much. I just feel nothing (hey…I’m starting to think Carly and I are having similar issues! I see something I’m sure I’m supposed to enjoy, but somehow, I just don’t…hmmm, better explore that a little more later…) about him. No wait, that’s not entirely true. I feel rather elated when Brian walks up and casts his big, bold shadow across the top of Jason’s head. Yeah, I like that immensely. Brian is my new hero and he can rattle the cage of any guy on the show at the moment with no complaint from me. I’m still not sure how he has managed to sneak past Guza and Pratt and continue to talk all this common sense nonsense, but it’s all-good with me. Maybe I’m completely delusional and the ability to just make up a better story as I watch has overcome reality, but I swear Jason is looking dumber and dumber by the day. If they try to ruin my delusional fantasies by making Brian decide to somehow help the merry band of mobsters, I swear you’ll hear my screams from your living room.

I was into the Carly/Lorenzo thing, but once she dreamed him in that hideous hair I had to face reality and realize that she doesn’t deserve him. I could have dreamed him sexier with a clown wig on and I cannot forgive her putting that hair on his head. I just can’t. I also find myself disappointed with some of the actions Lorenzo has taken lately. I’m still rooting for him over Sonny (surprise) for Carly, but it’s lost most of its luster for me. I’m back to thinking this would be an opportune time for Carly and Jason to get busy. Those kids should be nowhere near Sonny after his stupid ass display last week. Carly feels little to no attachment to her kids or Sonny, and instead of realizing that maybe he better be there for his children he decides to run up and shoot Lorenzo in the street. Apparently we’ve slipped back into the “Sonny is going crazy” story and someone forgot to warn me. Pfft. When did Sonny ever leave crazyville anyway? And why the heck won’t anyone EVER press charges against the man? I don’t think I can take much more of Sonny skating away free and clear, only to commit more acts of total stupidity another day. If he had a thought beyond “ready, aim, fire”, he’d almost be dangerous.

I’ve little to say about Nikolas and Emily, except to confirm that I don’t give a crap what happens to either one of them. It takes a very special girl to ruin Prince Nikolas, and lo and behold, GH managed to create one. They’ve also managed to create about twelve lame scenarios aimed at making me root for them and I’m happy to report that I’ve not felt even a smidgen of those type of feelings. I’ll admit their super powers are cool though, getting themselves in that vent and out of the ship in twelve seconds…that’s to die for! (If only.) It has been confirmed that Nikolas left his balls with Jason in exchange for the right to march in and say, “We’re under Jason Morgan’s protection now”. So fair Emily has her wuss boy and I’m officially relieved of the need to watch yet another soap hunk.

Hmm, I think I’ll not comment on Sage/Dillon/Georgie either. In this case I believe I should exclude myself because this story is obviously NOT aimed at the mother of two young girls. I was young once, and I had my moments as I recall, but I don’t recall doing a strip tease in a diner. I don’t want to sound like a prude, but with all due respect (*snort*) I think maybe they’ve gone a bit overboard with the whole thing. The writers could have parlayed this same story without making all of us so darn uncomfortable. I was on board in the beginning, and I’m all for a realistic “younger set” story, but this has all the symptoms of a purely for shock value story and goodness knows it’s what GH falls back on lately so it’s no stretch of the imagination to assume it’s so. I still love Dillon, and I like Georgie and Maxie as sisters, but the rest is of little interest to me at this point.

It appears we moved into a marine theme for Fall, which is nice. Everybody has a boat, I mean a ship, and everybody’s future fortune and well-being is wrapped up in keeping those babies afloat. Hey, it’s better than the “burn down all the buildings” theme, so I’m all for it! Loving Luke and Skye for the most part, though Luke is such an unlikable character in so many ways. I’m just never quite sure where they’re going with Luke, and I find it hard to root for any female character to hang around him too long. He’s ignorant to his son, he *thinks* maybe he has a daughter around somewhere and he can’t seem to stay out of the bottle, but at least he’s not a mobster so I guess I’ll have to accept his faults. At least with this new scheme and with Skye hanging around he seems to be on a more even keel, so that’s a plus.

I saw Alexis get shot at, and thankfully it appears that one attempt cured Sage’s need for revenge which is very convenient. I haven’t seen much of Alexis since though, and I’m hoping the trauma didn’t send her back into fake DID or something. I guess I better face the fact that I will never be getting the “Alexis is a mommy” story that I wanted, Carly feels nothing for her kid but still gets to share a room with him once in awhile at least. Please just tell me Alexis is not locked in a room somewhere trying on her moustache and wig again? Please? It was nice to see Cameron get to do some work for a change, and it was doubly nice to hear him tell Sonny he was a dink (in so many words). I’m sure Cameron is locked back up in his cave as well now, but I’ll bet we get a Christmastime scene with him and Alexis if we can manage to be very, very good little girls between now and then.

Okay, now that I’m almost done I can tell you that this has been very hard! I’ve been watching over the last two months (mostly anyway) but sometimes I’ve fallen so far behind I thought I’d never catch up. And often I thought I’d never have the desire to catch up! I’d let the tapes sit and sit, and then finally I’d wade through, fast-forwarding too often probably, and just trying to get a general feel for where things were at rather than bothering to get too involved. It’s not that the show has been bad, per se; in fact, in many ways it has been better. There are more bright spots (Tracy!!) than there were six months ago, and some characters are definitely getting what I have felt they have deserved for quite awhile. That’s the weird thing though, some things are happening that should have me excited to watch again but I still feel…detached. I feel like I’m watching people I used to really care about but now they’re just strangers in a sense. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I guess it comes mainly from not feeling like I’m able to trust the characters or the story. I’m too skeptical about where it will go next, and I’m not feeling the least bit curious about where it will end up. That cannot be a good sign. Unlike six months ago, I no longer feel angry about how characters are portrayed or about the obvious imbalance of the show (and it’s better now, but it nowhere near balanced). It’s a weird position to be in honestly, and I’m still getting used to it after many years of loving my “not to be missed” GH, a few years of becoming more and more disillusioned with my “wtf are they doing to my beloved show” GH, and a few months of “Oh my God they’re killing it and I miss it so” GH. I have yet to decide if it’s a positive thing or not at this point. It could be that I had to get past being so darn angry about every move they made in order to be able to appreciate some of the characters again for what’s left of what they used to be, or it could be one more step in the letting go of what sometimes feels like an unrecognizable show to me now. I’m just not sure yet, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out. I do know that I do notice and appreciate a few changes that were long overdue, and time will tell if it’s too little, too late.

I do apologize for taking such a long break and I appreciate all the notes I received asking about the column. I had a little email catastrophe a while ago and lost some things, so if you didn’t get a response that’s why. Love hearing from you all (unless you all have changed your names to things like “Eioj;kdnvn#4442” and you’re the ones sending me all that spam about “pleasuring her” and such…because that’s all that’s in my inbox lately and I’m getting suspicious, lol) so drop me a line and let me know how you’re feeling about the show these days. I’m really going to try to be a bit timelier with my writing, I promise. My apologies to PC viewers as well, I had some family issues come up after the final PC airing and I just wasn’t able to get a column out as I had hoped. It’s been a crazy Fall in the Mercurio household, and I’m more than ready for Winter to bring on the snow and make everything look shiny and clean again. Take care all!