Katrina's Soap Journal  By Katrina Rasbold  

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June 23, 2002

Hello, everyone!  I am going to be somewhat shutting down the Soap Journal for the time being.  Any comments I have that do reference spoilers will be in the Spoiler commentary for GH and OLTL and NonSpoiler remarks will be in the Totally Irreverent Weekly Recaps.  Everyone once in a while, there may be a special column posted here, such as my picks for the Eye Awards or a silly one like the Metaphoric Casting List.  With all three soap columns running at once, I'm repeating myself quite a bit and I think we can cover all the bases this way.  I'm leaving this page up and linked in case anyone wants to read archives.

See you in the other columns!

June 20, 2002

ABC Rambles, Raves and Rants


First, it is important that I tell you that I’m watching the episode of Friends where Ross meets the father of the college student he’s dating and it’s Bruce Willis and he is just absolutely f-i-n-e.  Dayum.

In honor of today’s episode, I’ve created the following accolade: 

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I’ve seen them all.  I watched Dorian (the Great) and Viki, Monica and Lesley, Laura and Flea, Krystal and Alexis and I have to say, no one has topped out the brilliant and fun ass-kicking we saw between Greenlee and Kendall today.  Perfectly choice!  Thanks, ladies! 

Admittedly, (as I’ve mentioned before) I’m a newcomer to AMC, only starting to watch last year when the libidozone story was climaxing and Dixie was falling for David in a big way.  It made me wish I had been watching for a lot longer, but I’m grateful I did pick up the other soap.  Please, as always, bear in mind that my comments are those of a newbie AMC’er. 

I have to say that I don’t particularly feel any buzz about the return of Maria as none of the Santos family thus far has done anything to impress me or do much more than force me to wish them dead or worse.  Rosa’s gape-jawed, wide-eyed, never changing expression reflected my every fear for what my daughter could grow up to be.  Mama Santos represents to me the woman who stays in an abusive and controlling relationship despite and to spite all odds and common sense (Blair Manning, you’re next, baby).  Mateo is just offensive in his frowning (that is almost mugging) and stomping and snorting and threatening.  Hayley definitely transitioned into the right family, going from controlling Dad to controlling Husband and turning into quite the know-it-all herself.  I understand she was quite the little goth wildchild when she came on the scene, but unfortunately, it seems any of Arlene’s balancing (and much needed, in my little opinion) impressions failed to stick.  As nearly as I can tell, Maria (and Julia is just a name to me and somehow associates with Noah, the hot guy from Andromeda) is simply one more sanctimonious Santos.  Pfft. 

As I write this, I can see that my feelings about AMC are largely colored by a lack of experience with the show.  I never got to see any of the trials and tribulations that Hayley and Mateo might have experienced to be together.  I never saw Hayley transition into Competent Young Woman or Mateo into BreadWinner from whatever they were before.  I never got to see Brooke as a femme fatale and can hardly imagine that.  To me, she’s just the annoying woman in the background, nattering away at everyone, who suddenly has a story beyond wailing about Laura, another annoying character from the git go, being in a state of almost dying, dying or thank god she didn’t die.  

I didn’t get to see any of the horrible things that Skye and Kendall did, so I just see Erica being a total bitch to a girl who just wants her natural mom to love her.  My soap sense, of course, says some Great Defining Moment will come where the scales fall from Erica’s eyes and they embrace to be loving forever more like Bobbie and Carly.  Meanwhile, they heap abuse on one another with Erica trying to get away from Kendall and Kendall trying to claim the love and validation she feels she is entitled to receive.  

In Skye’s case, having missed the whole Tom Cudahy story and alcoholism bit, I am simply left to wonder why Adam never mentions, visits or contacts her.  Sure, she now knows he is not her birth dad, but he is the dad who raised her and I didn’t see anything in their interaction that would indicate a reason why he would totally disconnect from her (other than that whole going to two other shows bit).  

Bianca is beyond annoying to me since sanctimony is a trait that makes me want to run like mad in the other direction, warp-seven-hair-on-fire-and-ass-a’catchin’.  Maggie appears to now be her partner in sanctimonious if not in any other way and piety in numbers is a truly terrifying thing.  My other feeling on Bianca is that if they are going to have a gay character on the show, they need to go the distance, whether or not society is prepared to actually see the girl-on-girl action or not.  Gay is not synonymous with celibate and for her to be as chaste as NoAction Jackson is lame.  So far, (in my reign as AMC’er) all she’s done is convince Frankie she’s gay and act preditorial toward Maggie.  Is she just nouveau gay to offend Erica or is this the real deal?  

The character of Anna has just been utterly tortured and assassinated from the Anna we knew and loved, nay, adored on GH.  This possessive, insecure shrew that you are seeing now is not even a shadow of the previous self-possessed, shrewd (notice the artistic play on the same words – buffing my nails on my shirt collar) lady we once knew.  I think the main reason David senses that she’s not afraid of losing herself (but of losing him – awwww) is that herself has already been lost without hope of finding a roadmap and compass.  In her defense, being blown up and (supposedly – although I think it was a false memory planted by Helena/Faison) seeing the alternate love of your life (Duke is quite a contender for the role) die (after also having Duke die in your arms) might jack up your personality a bit.  What kind of woman gets Ian Buchanan, Tristan Rogers and Vincent Irizzary all in one life anyway?  Into her life some rain (forget the rain, she needs a monsoon) must fall to balance out THAT one. 

While I’m sure that Tad served some incredible purpose at some point (another victim to my lack of history with the show), at present, he’s in The Land of Opal and Others, running into walls, trying to find something to do.   I sense a reunion to a relationship I don’t think I would have wanted to see in the first place with Brooke, which seems like it would be something akin to a toothpaste sandwich…sure there are some good components in there, but together they aren’t doing anyone any favors.  I loved Tad with Leslie (but that was largely due to Leslie and the awesome performance by Colleen Dion) and some of my favorite soap scenes EVER were between Tad and Jesse.   If Jesse could forever be tapped as Tad’s guardian angel, I could love Tad always.  I thought MEK was brilliant in his scenes of Packing Away Dixie, but Brooke felt extraneous and almost intrusive to me. 

Speaking of Dixie, I have to confess that it was me.  I killed her.  Sorry.  When she was dying in the Caribbean and David defied all and rushed down to save her, I was praying he’d not make it.  I’ve despised her character ever since she was crawling around on the floor in a teddy, smooching on David when she hadn’t even gotten a chill from getting out of bed with Tad.  That was about when I came in with her and that was enough for me.  When she was saved by David The Christed, I assured myself it was in preparation for a far worse and more fiery death to come and voila…so it was to be.  I think I would have liked Billy Clyde and Uncle Porkchop, however.  

Given all this ranting and bitching, you might wonder why I even watch or if there is anything I do like about the show and there most assuredly is.  I completely adore Liza and thought one of the hottest make-out scenes I’ve ever witness was when she and Ryan just started groping each other out of nowhere while WildWind burned.  That “take no prisoners” kind of passion is very intriguing and fascinating to me and somehow, I’d missed the spoiler on it, so it kind of blindsided me.  I was watching it saying, “Kiss her, boy!!” and sure enough, there it went!  I love how totally nasty she looked after her surgery instead of being made up as though she just stepped out of a salon instead of an OR.   Liza kicked ass when she couldn’t even talk over a preschool level. 

I love Adam and Stuart, although Stuart and Marian are, unfortunately, also in the Opal and Others Club.  I haven’t seen enough of Stuart and Marian to form an opinion, but I like what I’ve seen so far and think it’s amazing to watch David Canary pretending to be Stuart pretending to be Adam and vice versa.  I find that far more intricate and interesting than Erika Slezak pretending to be Niki pretending to be Viki.  Layers and textures, ES, layers and textures.  Adam is brilliant in his ruthlessness, capturing a class and methodical eveilll to his nature that Asa Buchanan and Edward Quartermaine don’t quite achieve in their roles as Resident Older Manipulative Bad Guy With a Heart Occasionally.  The latter two just come off as oafish and cartoony, but Adam carries it with finesse.  

As you may have guessed, I really enjoy the character of Opal and would love to see more of her beyond watching her fall for the handsome Luke Duke, only to have him leave her for an oboe or whatever it was going to have rule over his lips in lieu of Opal.  She seems like a character with a lot of angles to examine and it’s sad she’s in such a prop role.  As with all of the shows, there is an entire subcast that is pushed to a sinful back burner on an ongoing basis.  I can understand that not everyone can have a front running story all the time, but it would take some of the shine off the sword if they could have a front running story SOME of the time.  To keep them around as little more than lamps and fake walls is just insulting.  To troll them out for funerals and weddings is a bit beneath them, I feel.  In Opal’s case, she has a bit of an edge because Erica needs a female sounding board, so Opal gets to nod encouragingly and give a line or two of sage advice.  Not so with Palmer, Myrtle, Derek, Stuart, Marian and Jackson.  At least Jackson gets to emerge long enough to be Erica’s whipping boy before returning to oblivion. 

I genuinely enjoy Maggie, even though they don’t seem to have a clue what to do with her character.  I also quite like Mia and have since she first doused Jake with coffee and bitched him out for dumping her after she quit her job to tour the world with him.  That’s quite an offer to make, only to later come back and say, “Oh, my bad!  I was kidnapped and have since forgotten about you.”  It also helps that they got her hair issues worked out.  I don’t care for how dumb they are making her appear in the Trey scandal.  Surely, she’s bright enough to figure out that if she does tell Liza, fake tumor or not, she’ll get some back and Trey will come falling down, hard.  Better yet, since Adam seems to be looking for ways to ingratiate himself to Mia, why not take advantage of the power of Big Bad Bro-in-Law?  Use your brains, woman! 

I looked up the word “rogue” in the dictionary and there was a picture of David’s face there, scowling contemptuously and looking forever more like every Leader of the Pack I ever fell for in my dumber, more starry-eyed days.  My appreciation of him is largely based on some haunting memory of a me that used to be and I’m grossly offended that my bad boy is talking about babies and willow trees.  I know his loins are screaming to procreate (his ego would demand it) and that his biological clock is going TICK TICK TICK (insert the Marissa Tomei stomp right here please), but please!  I’m in mid fantasy and all this domesticated drivel is distracting me!! 

Between Leo, Ryan and Jake, the drool bag under my chin needs to be changed and quickly before I get a rash on my neck.  I have no idea of anything any of these three have said since I started watching.  The harps and singing of angels when they are onscreen drowns out any dialog that might be there. 

I just love Kendall.  I love Alicia Minshew.   I don’t think there has ever been so much a diva-in-training as she, both as herself and as Kendall.  From her first few moments on the screen, it was obvious that a lot of pains had been taken to find Erica, Jr and it’s the extra effort like THAT that makes me feel appreciated as a viewer.  I find it fascinating that they worked so hard to have Kendall patterned as MiniErica as the bad daughter in contrast to Bianca as TotalEricaOpposite as the good daughter.  I love her scenes with Ryan (including the downright dirty banter between the two of them when they first met – OK, so I listened a little), her scenes with Chris, her scenes with Bianca, her scenes with Erica…  Again, I missed the years when she was played by Buffy, but this incarnation, I quite like.

Chrissssss.  Lord knows I loved Jack Scalia on Dallas and in those underwear ads.  Rrroowwwl.  Like the aforementioned Tom Wopat, he aged magnificently and definitely wakes up Katrina’s Daddy Complex (although I have found that the people who arouse my Daddy Complex are getting dangerously close to my own age.  I presume that is because before long, those who would be in Daddy Age Range would be dead, which isn’t all that conducive to good fantasy).  Loved when he was fussing at Erica as janitor Chris, when you knew that “Why Mr Stamp…you impudent bastard” stuff was going to lead to the next Mr Kane.  I love that he’s Ryan’s daddy.  I love the unfolding of his love story (evidently made up as the writers go along) with Ryan’s mommy.  I loved his portrayal of the classic soap hero, Ima Wretched Cripple.  I just love him.  Period. 

Greenlee, of course, is a force of nature that every soap should be so lucky to have.  It has been interesting to see the interaction between Roger and Mary to get a clue about where Greenlee’s “issues” stem from and why the poor girl has more baggage than American Airlines (and most of it has been shipped to a different country, also like American Airlines).  Love, love, love Greenlee, whether she’s with Leo or Jake or beating the crap out of Kendall or wearing a gorilla suit or looking stunned into incredible hurt by Leo’s callous and self-absorbed abuse while married to Laura “Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone” DuPres.  I hope our Greens fares better than Leo’s last two brides! 

If Simone is having trouble tolerating Roger slobbering all over her, Kate and I will eagerly volunteer to take her place. 

Leaving the best for last, I have to voice my appreciation for Vanessa.  Although the Roxy crap is wearing about as thin as the Niki Smith crap, I always enjoy seeing her onscreen and wondering what she’s going to be up to next.  I particularly enjoy how she employs (via the writers, but who cares) the classic villainous technique of divulging her secret plans for conquering the world to her current victim, totally confident that they will never live to reveal all.  She is the brilliant combination of both Pinky and The Brain, throwing in a bit of Norma Desmond along the way.  Sheer perfection. 


As I have said, the Niki thing is just wearing too thin for me.  Unlike AMC, my history with OLTL originates from their first shows, so I remember the first Niki incidents (not the ones that have been manufactured and injected into Viki’s history along the way) and she has always been way, way over the top, but it just doesn’t play well in this day and time.  If we can so easily see Niki’s rapid transitions and “saves” into Viki, why can’t those closest to her?  Why is it that only Natalie, who, by Viki’s astute observation, doesn’t really know her at all, is the only one who is figuring out that something is up?  Ben has always come off as basically brain-dead, which is a sin given his beautiful introduction as Mysterious Barkeep Who Entrances Society Lady.  Of course, to be acceptable socially, he had to turn out to be a doctor, but it worked and worked well.  Since the days of learning he was Asa’s son, he’s just appeared slow and stunted, as though he should start yammering about the rabbits before getting popped a good one in the back of the head by his best pal.  Gone are the days of Viki sucking the bullet out of his chest and stitching him up with a darning needle and catgut from a real cat in the attic.  Now he storms around and snorts and rants much like Niki would like for Bo to believe.  The fascination with Bo is just ludicrous when she could easily pay someone to act as her lover and her rabid anger to Natalie and Rex would be noticed by someone.  Jessica appears to be missing in action where Viki is concerned and were Todd not so preoccupied with his own troubles, he’d quickly recognize Niki at work.  As it is, she stands in the library and babbles loudly, waving her arms like a windmill gone apeshit and (I hope) embarrassing the crap out of Soap Queen, Erika Slezak.  Surely, no one involved, director, writer or actress, is saying, “Damn, this is just so goood!”  Allowing the differences between Niki and Viki to be subtle and devious (as with Adam and Stuart and the two of them pretending to be one another) would be so much more effective and would eliminate the insults to the intelligence of both viewer and character.  Pairing Niki with Roxy is brilliant, but this horrible hammy portrayal of Niki, I fear, is going to throw a wet blanket on what could otherwise be a great story.  Let’s get this one moving and done.  I will, however, confess to a guilty twinge when she was feeling up Chad. 

Rae is Woman of the Year?  Are they BAKED?  She’s done little more than decimate the mental health of Llanview citizens and make herself look like a inmate in search of an asylum this year.  Puhlease.  I think it would have been far more entertaining to see Viki/Niki get the honor and watch Niki rake the audience into bits with her acceptance speech.  Rae?  Gimme a break.  If Llanview’s Woman of the Year gets any saner, she’ll graduate up to talking to store manikins and her reflection in the window of Carlotta’s diner. 

Keri has plummeted from my graces with her unabashed and ill-founded exploitation of and invasion into Rae’s past.  No means no, baby, even in personal history rape.  I also resent that she’s blowing a perfectly romantic Hawaiian vacation with ‘Tonio to play around unbidden and unwanted in Rae’s romantic past.  Bad, bad form.  I’ll bet Antonio is going to bill her for the wasted expenses when they break up. 

Lately, the strength of OLTL has housed itself firmly in the reignited motivation of the actors since the live show (it seemed to remind the vets of what acting is all about and give the newbies a much needed trial by fire) and in its study of perfect pairing.  Roxy and Niki are really just the beginning of fascinating couples that have come together in the past month or so.  Two (in my eyes) totally unredeemable characters have once again found favor in my eyes due to their new partners.  Gabrielle was so far outside of my interest that I was praying for a Dixie Cooney original to befall her in the form of Fiery Death Over a Cliff.  Her stage performance of the Oh So Maligned Gabrielle during the killing of Asa story made me gag and remember why I didn’t care for either the actress or the character when they were first on the show (ditto for Rae, who barely left a dent of an impression in the OLTL fabric during her stint as Gretel – Gasp!  Don’t call me that!  Boo hoo hoo – the first time around).  In a Samson moment, her strength seems to have returned with her hair and I’ve loved seeing the truly vulnerable side of her as she really does seem to fall for Bo.  Even up to Al’s crippled days, I couldn’t stand to look at her, but somewhere around the time of Jack’s aplastic anemia, she began to sniggle my interest a bit.  Now, I’m fully enjoying the lazy unrolling of her attraction to Bo and the savoring of the story that is to come.  I much prefer the easy intro into a couple as compared to throwing them into bed and manufacturing love later (Hello, Sam and Nora).  Build the passion so that we want that first kiss and admission of love and hitting of the sheets as much as we do! 

Speaking of Nora, I have to wonder if anyone in Llanview is as creeped out by her relationship with Troy as I am.  Sure, I wanted her away from the ever-boring Sam and sure I wanted Troy to have an even better reason to take off his shirt, but the whole thing is just…icky.  I love Ty and I love Colin and I love Ty, but throw Nora into the mix and it’s just too Felix and Oscar for me.  I thought his chemistry with Lindsay was much hotter and the intimate scenes between he and Nora have seem almost, I dunno, maternal or something to me.  Sage and I have come up with our own theory about the secret of the past and if it’s not what the writers run with, it’s what they SHOULD run with.  I think that Troy and Colin traded places just before the “Troy, is that you?” flashback and the Colin we saw was really Troy Gone Bad and the Troy we’re seeing is really Colin.  Emily/Jaws/Carol knows things that only she and Troy would know, so she’s a threat because if he doesn’t jibe his memories with hers, she’s going to smell an identity switching rat and be onto him.  Did he kill Joanna because she found him out?  A little extreme, but possible, especially with additional story embellishment.  Nora, of course, has uttered the words to herald in just such an atrocity, “I don’t care what you’ve done in your past…blah, blah, blah.”  That’s as sure fire of a bad news summons as a few days of memory montage shots is of a character’s upcoming demise.  For newcomers, I must let you know that Nora really can be hot…but that, sadly, only happened with Bo.  (moment of silence) 

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Back to a theme, not only of perfect matches, but of the redeeming of characters beyond redemption, Max is now fascinating to me in his quest to rid himself of the Roxy virus that has penetrated his OS.  These two are just magic together and with one misguided, drunken night in Vegas, I fell in love again even if Max did not.  From his confused look on waking to his tortured scream as he saw the band on his hand on to the beautiful buddy scene when RJ realized his friend’s fate, I’ve devoured every minute of this story.   (It was contaminated only by the interjection of Al the Stupid into the equation.  That blow was softened ever so slightly with the adaptation of his new moniker of “Legs.”  Heh heh heh)  Now, I eagerly await the sure to come make-over of Roxy and the must-be-impending moment when the marriage is about to be dissolved and Max changes his mind while the New Roxy decides that she deserves more.  Roxy is a complex character that is begging for redemption through love.  There have to be layers and layers of stories as to why Roxy is the way she is and only on a soap can she be renovated into the new and improved Roxy that will absolutely entrance Our Max.  This story has miles and miles to go if played well and given its beginnings, there seems little doubt that it will be, especially given Ilene Kristen’s solid 5 year contract.  Bring it on!! 

Am I the only one who picked up on some latent (or not) sexual tension between Seth and Rex?  I’m fairly open-minded and don’t mind all aspects of relationship (harming none and all) being explored on my shows and I must say, the buttons on my gaydar console blinked a bit.  Now ya’ll don’t make my homiphobidar console spring into action or I’ll be truly disappointed and saddened. 

More great pairings spring forth not only from EVERY scene with Bo and Hank (very nearly voted our “best couple” for OLTL in the Eye Awards and if you want to explore a really funny sidebar of humor, consider that when I typed “Bo and Hank” in this sentence, I accidentally typo’d “Bo and Hand,” which made me think of Bo’s hasty retreat back to his room after seeing Gabrielle make out with that ice cube), but also in every scene between Lindsay and Allison.  Making them roomies was just an act of genius and gives me one more thing to look forward to in what is overall emerging as a spectacular show very much deserving of the Emmy honors received this year. 

Nope, no comment on the Blair, Todd, Tea, Sam story.  The jury is still out.  Nothing on the Cris, Jen, Al story because I don’t really have anything nice to say and would only be bitching about something that can’t be remedied by anything other than a mass murder with a passion for bad acting to be set loose in Llanview.  I could go on and on about the talent of Melissa Archer, but since Natalie is doing very little right now other than radiating most beautifully in the few scenes she has, it would be a bit redundant.  

Given those minor problems mentioned, if Dorian, the Buchanan Boys (the real one) and Madame Delphina were to put in a return (and God forbid, we were to see more of Andrew and Dr Larry), OLTL would be the perfect soap. 


Speaking of savoring stories, such as with Gabrielle and Bo, GH is doing a fine job of pacing out the unfolding of relationships and development of tales, despite the current outcry from fans for pushing the river. 

I am pleased to see Steve Burton back, not only to look at him for long periods of time, but because Jason affects so many current stories that it acts as a nice glue to piece it all together.  Although Charles Pratt and Bob Guza have been unofficially writing for some time, they have yet to undo all of the damage done during the reign of McTavish and Lame Duck JFP, but great progress has been made.  With an astute understanding of the necessity of gradual and delicate change, Pratt and Guza have held a gentle pen and brush as they paint the new GH for us and I, for one, have loved the easy reintroduction of characters long pushed aside in favor of the Sonny and Carly show.  Jason has not taken the show by storm, as I had feared, but has eased into the Sonny and Carly, Lucky and Liz, Courtney and AJ and Quartermaine stories. While many ached for he and Liz to lock eyes and fly across the room toward one another like alien face suckers, I have loved how the spark has been kindled and the tiny flame is being fanned.  While I have been a long time advocate for a Liz and Jason pairing and feel that their energy together far, far surpasses the lukewarm buzz between Rebecca Herbst and Jacob “The Howler” Young, one must remember that the terms under which they last saw one another was Liz rejecting him for Lucky and firmly re-establishing the dancing distance between them as the No Man’s Land called “Friends Only.”  That is going to weigh heavily on both Jason and Liz as she suddenly finds herself free, hurting and terribly confused.  Her initial reaction of literally running into and to Jason, only to start tearing his clothes off and tongue kissing him was not only very understandable and natural for Elizabeth, but also for any red-blooded, heterosexual woman.  (wink)  I thought it was very respectful of the relationship to come for her to pull back and tell Jason that when she made love with him, she wanted it to be for all the right reasons.  That, to me, promises a real pressure cooker of a romance to come and I’m perfectly willing to be tantalized by it for a while as she gets her head, heart and pants all in alignment.  The introduction of Zander into the triangle will give enough grist in the mill for Jason to get good and heated up for her as well and when they finally, inevitably do hit the sheets, it’s going to be incredible for all of us.  I have my renegade pack of smokes all ready for the afterglow. 

On the other side of the Quartermaine gene pool, it has likewise to have the pleasure of watching AJ fall in love with his wife and realize the joy of finally getting what he’s always wanted, albeit under the most unsavory of circumstances.  Guza loves to write AJ in love (having been the one to show us that AJ really did love Carly and have big hopes for their future, only again to be one-upped by Jason when she dumped him solid and revealed her using of AJ) and I pray that the origin of their marriage will never be revealed.  I’d love to see how AJ plays out actually in love and at peace rather than ever the tortured soul.  (But where is that damned dog?  Pushing up daisies at the same SPCA as Raul, Annabelle and Foster?) 

I sincerely hope I’m not spoiling anyone who wishes to remain unspoiled in lauding the return of Chris Robinson in the role of Rick Webber.  Like the Jason return, this brings with it promise of so many good stories to be.  It will be impossible to bring him on canvas without finally putting to rest the eternal question of whether or not he was ever told Lesley is alive or reopening the rivalry between he and Alan or revisiting the passion between he and Monica.  This reeks of a careful emergence of valuable characters long denied and I eagerly await his entry onscreen.  I also hear he’s a hottie as an older man (see above daddy fetish remarks regarding Jack Scalia and Tom Wopat).  Just please, please, leave that Mikey kid in Cleveland or wherever the hell it was they went. 

Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have much to say about Sonny and Carly, primarily due to extreme apathy.  I found their hate sex in the beginning to be absolutely fascinating, sort of like being drawn to watch a train wreck as it occurs.  I cheered when he rescued her from the Quartermaines, cried when they lost the baby and melted when he comforted her after she tore the nursery apart.  I glowed with their wedding in Martinique.  Unfortunately, and I hate to say it because it’s not her fault at all, it all fell apart for me when Tamara Braun came in.  I think she’s a fine actress who had the misfortune of being cast in footsteps that were almost impossible to follow.  No, I’m not a Sarah Brown disciple and no, I’m not against recasts overall.  I think TB was thrown in way over her head and has done a fine job with what she was given.  She has truly “made Carly her own” and that is the problem.  The Carly I see now is not the Carly I enjoyed and the problem I have with recasts is when the actor “makes the character their own” instead of who the character is.  I’m one of the stalwart fans who happens to believe that a character evolves through their experiences rather than through the bevy of actors that might play them and when there is a big change in personality due to the rearranging by or because of a new actor, it bugs me.  When David Lewis was ill and John Ingle took over as Edward, he stayed Edward and was believable in the role.  When Wally Kurth took over as Ned, he took the personality Kurt McKinney created and made it fuller, not different, and it worked.  When Chris Robinson took over from the real Rick with the big chin, (oh man, make me work for this one…Mike somebody…last name was a first name…Michael Gregory!  That’s it!!) he was still Rick and it worked.  When Coltin Scott took over from my much beloved Tyler Christoper, he had a short adjustment period (allowed, by my standards) but ultimately, stayed Nikolas and it worked.  He wasn’t *quite* as regal as TC, but it worked.  When Adrian Sword came in to play Taggert for awhile, he was still Taggert and it worked.  When Jacob Young came in as Lucky, he was nothing like Lucky and brainwashing to blame it on or not, it sucked and continues to suck.  This Carly is, for me, so different from My Carly, that it just doesn’t work for me and bores me to tears. I don’t hate seeing Sonny and Carly and I respect the incredible and passionate fan base they have generated, but it’s not my deal any more.  

There is one comment to make and that is we were told that ABC had invested megabucks into the building of the Carly’s Club set.  They were sadly overcharged.  That has got to be the cheesiest set known to man and should be set afire immediately.  The 1972 Seventh Floor Nurses’ Station made of refrigerator boxes and toy princess phones had more character.  Couldn’t she have just renovated the magnificent Outback?  Ahhh, the memories!  Mac behind the bar, Felicia waiting tables, Katherine in a raincoat ordering a martini with three olives, Miguel cleaning glasses…*sigh* 

Alexis, on the other hand, is back to wonderfully again being Alexis and her scenes with Baby Davis have already practically won Baby Davis a spot in the credits.  I pray they decide to let her keep BD and allow the story of Mommy Alexis to continue.  Alexis will revel in the impending unconditional love and will be adorable as a new mom, not to mention the fabulous opportunity for pregnant, laboring and delivering scenes with Ned and/or Jax.  If Carly (who will no doubt find out since they share the only OB doc in Port Charles), Ned and Alexis do their jobs, Sonny need never know that he has procreated and All Will Be Well, at least until the *sigh* inevitable life threatening illness that will require that some vital fluid or organ be donated by Sonny.  Dammit.  Anyway, I’m begging the powers that be to let just one baby live other than the little Alfred E. Newman clone who slipped through the baby moratorium.  For Godsake, Alexis, stay away from the stairs.  We HAVE to follow through on the suggestion made on Sage’s Message Board to draft Elton as nanny and give Alexis the best dressed, cattiest little girl on the East Coast. 

Kristina held such promise and was such a cool character before the writers painted her into a corner with never-drying latex and super glue.  Now she just has to die.  No other way out of it.  Alexis and Ned can then comfort one another, live in Brenda’s cottage and fall in love all over again, that is, unless I can have my Jax and Alexis pairing finally work out. 

What happened to Sarabi?  (Thanks, Marzi, I love it)  Did Taggert really send her to the desk job in Kansas or where ever?  If so, good riddance to a boring character.  Can Petra go as well? 

Would that Luke would wear Farmer Hoggett’s monk robe every day!  What a brilliant (HAD to be ad libbed) and just plain fun scene.  Thanks for the laughs! 

Bringing the redeeming of unredeemable characters from OLTL on over to GH, I have LOVED the banter between Felicia and Roy.   This is another instance of loving the long trail up to that first kiss.  Very, very lovely stuff.  I’m glad my man, Roy, seems to have washed away the last of the mediocrity left on him by Melissa (I could sing of the tragic waste of this awesome actress all day) and is finding his SuperRoy costume in the closet right behind that million dollar box!  I can tell you, I wouldn’t waste time sitting around wondering where it came from or covering it with drop cloths.  That box would have a sizeable dent in it in no time and would be finely distributed in bank accounts all over Switzerland before the sun set on that day.  That was quite a valuable paint job Felicia proposed! 

I really enjoy Robin Christopher, but if her character were any more one-dimensional, she’d have to put her clothes on by folding little paper tabs over her shoulders.  With Jax, she’s about as interesting as a hairball and I find my attention drifting to what bleached out, freakishly clean feet Jax has.  Now, should she and Alexis decide to switch men (being Ned), I could get interested (no, they aren’t related because I don’t think Alan is her real father). 

Speaking of Robins, it would be fun if St Robin returned, minus her crown, and took up with another bad boy:  Zander!  

Now, if Emily, Robert and Jeff Webber (preferably to attend Sarah’s funeral) would return, life would be really grand. 

See you next time!


More of GH's Most Fulfilling Moments

June 9, 2002


Rae to Skye, sobbing:  "How could I have been so wrong?  *gasp*  Your father isn't Alan!  It's the other millionaire, Adam Brewster!  I mixed up my rich guys.  Darling...I...am...so...sorry!  Why didn't we run DNA testing?  Why?"  sobsobsobsob

Skye:  Runs off screaming, "AJ!!!"


[from Sage]

Dara:  "The People versus Helena Cassadine now call Stefan Cassadine to the stand."


Roscoe, watching Zander:  "I have exactly the person you need to bring Sonny Corinthos down."  

Tracy Quartermaine:  "Excellent.  I'll be there tonight."


Missed Opportunity --

Carly to Jason:  "Do you think you can just once come back when I'm not in a crisis?"

Jason to Carly":  "Do you think you could ever NOT be in a crisis when I come back?"


Sonny to Alexis:  "I know there's something wrong, let me help."

Ned to Alexis:  "I know there's something wrong, let me help."

Kristina to Alexis:  "I know there's something wrong, let me help."

Alexis:  "The next person to tell me they know something's wrong gets their head cut off.  I mean it."


Lucky:  "E-Liz-A-Beetttthhhhhhh."

Jonathan Jackson:  "Who are you PLAYING, anyway?"



GH's Most Fulfilling Moments
June 7, 2002

Click here to get the actual column!

Ha!!  Eric was watching GH with me yesterday and said, "Hey, why is Ash Ketchum from Pokemon on your show?  :)

Remind you of anyone?

Highlight the line below to see
who he was referring to:



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