Soap Bubbles, by JenJen!

“WTF Moments”

“WTF?”

That stands for “What the f*ck,” in case anyone was wondering and there were “WTF” moments galore this week, on both sides of my television screen, meaning I personally had a few of these moments and so did many “General Hospital” characters.

To clarify further, a “WTF” is a moment when a person is obviously thinking or feeling that phrase (or one that’s similar). Since soap characters on network, daytime television can’t actually say those words, I can only assume that’s going through their minds from time to time based on the situation and the baffled looks on their beautiful faces.

Zander peeking in that window at the Quartermaine’s mansion and seeing his father kissing “Dobson” the butler was one of the best “WTF” moments on GH in a long time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I can’t help myself, I am still laughing. It almost makes this entire “Dobson/Alexis” fiasco worthwhile. Almost. I feel bad for Zander, especially since this happened right after he got “WTF-ed” on the docks when he heard Nik and Emily professing their love to one another, even though they meant “friendship love,” Zander thought they meant “booty call love.”

“Dobson” had a big “WTF” when he/she saw Skye and Ned slurping on each other’s tonsils. Alexis had better chuck that facial hair and start planning some other course of action, and quickly. Surely she must realize that no one in Port Charles dates anymore. Everybody’s doing the horizontal bop almost as quickly as they realize there’s an attraction, so Alexis had better move fast if she’s going to head Skye off at the pass.

I don’t even want to imagine what Alexis must have been thinking when Big Alice and her Big Cleavage made a not-so-subtle pass at “Dobson.” I’m sure “WTF” was the least of it.

Sonny and Jason had a big “WTF” when Carly called Sonny and told him to come home quickly, with no explanation. Sonny and Jason expected the worst and showed up at the penthouse with their guns drawn. What they found was worse than anything their testosterone driven brain cells could have hacked up: Biff the stylist. Jason had a “WTF” a few moments later when a yapping Carly dragged him over to his penthouse to try on tuxes, the first of them being a kilt. My heart went out to Jason, I gotta say.

Carly seemed to have a “WTF” when she opened the door at Courtney’s bridal shower to find Emily, Skye and Monica standing there, explaining that they’d been invited that morning by the bride herself. Everyone in attendance had a “WTF” when Courtney’s stripper friends showed up, compliments of A.J.’s bitter machinations. The same thing happened when Janine, the bride’s drunken mother, arrived, also due to A.J. This prompted a “WTF” from me, because if Carly, the hostess, wasn’t expecting the strippers, Janine, or the Q women, then who did she think was going to be there? Was it just supposed to be a bridal shower with only Carly, Courtney and Penny (from Kelly’s) in attendance? Woo! What a party. Not.

Jason got another “WTF” when he went with Sonny to the “No Name” restaurant for what he thought would be a meeting with The Five Families. What he found was a bachelor party waiting for him instead. I had a small, but enjoyable, “WTF” when I realized this may be the only time in soap history that female strippers have been at both the bachelor party AND the bridal shower. Good stuff.

Maxie got a “WTF” when Georgie revealed her plan to sleep with Lucas after the prom. I’m happy to see Maxie is smart enough to have a “WTF” moment. That does take some intelligence and demonstrates the ability, finally, to have some foresight. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure this is not the kind of intelligence that lasts. Maxie will probably lose all this headway she’s made the next time she falls asleep.

Mike actually got a “WTF” moment of his very own when Courtney told him she and Jason were going to tie the knot. Mike said Jason would have to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. This request was followed by a round of “WTF” expressions, first from Courtney and Carly, and then from Jason and Sonny. I had a “WTF” when Carly told Mike, reassuringly, that Sonny had given the marriage his approval. Well, whoopdee-damn-doo-dah.

Lucky had a good “WTF” when he found out Liz is now married to Ric AND pregnant. It was a good moment and almost made me forget my own “WTF” from a few minutes before when Ric had (1) moved an injured Liz, thus risking irreparable spinal cord injury to her and (2) had no damn cell phone to call the paramedics. I thought Ric had a cell phone surgically implanted into one of his hands, as he never seems to be without one. I mean, well, “WTF?”

Just about anyone who had a conversation with Luke this week had “WTF” written all over their faces when confronted with his infamous vendetta against the Cassadines. That’s okay because Luke can “WTF” with the best of them and he threw those looks back in spades at everyone who disagreed with him. That would be everyone who spoke with him because I don’t think Luke agreed with anybody this week or vice versa. The best Luke “WTF” moment came when Laura’s doctor informed him that Stefan Cassadine had been one of her recent visitors. That was great and I was doing my “Stefan’s Back Dance of Happiness” at just the mention of his name, which prompted my husband to say “WTF” when he walked into the living room. I told him, then we both did the “Stefan’s Back Dance of Happiness.”

There were also a myriad of small “WTF” moments all week long: Carly searching for the baby mobile she had just purchased that day; Liz opening Ric’s door to find Faith standing there with her psycho bitch hair and an arm full of flowers; Ric walking into his living room to find a menacing Faith there with Liz; Sonny and Jason throwing Carly at least one “WTF” look a day for general purposes; Biff, the stylist, when Sonny, Jason and Company came storming into the penthouse locked and loaded and Cameron when he caught Big Alice and Dobson in an “intimate” moment in the Q’s living room. I’m sure there are many others, but these stand out the most to me.

I found this past week of “GH” to be fairly entertaining and all the “WTFs” going around were pretty good. I did have quite a few “WTF” moments myself, besides some of the ones I already mentioned. Mine are directed more at “The Powers That Be” than anyone else.

I had a MAJOR “WTF” when Sonny and Carly were loitering outside of Liz’s hospital cubicle, gawking at her as she miscarried her child. That was so incredibly tacky and cruel. I know Sonny and Carly understand what Liz is going through, but in my opinion, that’s exactly why they should have excused themselves and got the hell away from there. To me, that should have been Liz and Ric’s drama ONLY. Reactions from Sonny and Carly later would have been fine and very appropriate, but I don’t care SO much about what they think or feel that I needed to see their reactions in “real time.” I found their presence to be distracting and just plain weird. It was a dramatic moment, ruined.

(Note to Sonny and Carly: Take a picture, it’ll last longer. Freaks.)

I had a “WTF” flashback to Sonny and Carly staring at Liz when they were peeking through the window at Kelly’s, watching Jason as he asked Mike for Courtney’s hand in marriage. I know that was supposed to be cute and funny, but their actions of standing around glaring just seemed too familiar too soon after that other scene in the hospital. It makes me feel like Ric’s apartment must be above the ground floor, or Sonny and Carly would have been standing around outside peering in his windows when he brought Liz home from the hospital. Because they care so much, I’m sure.

My other really big “WTF” was right after Carly was so nice to Liz at Kelly’s. Sonny and Carly had just spent the morning shopping for baby items when they showed up at the diner where Liz was back to work a couple of days after her miscarriage. Carly told her she was happy to see she was feeling well enough to be back to work again. I thought that was very sweet of her to say, so imagine my shock and disgust when pregnant Carly turned right around, literally, and pulled a baby mobile out of a shopping bag, holding it up for all to see, including Liz. Could she have been anymore rude than that? Couldn’t we at least have had a commercial in between the “sweetness” and the “rudeness?” Do TPTB want us to think Carly is a horrible bitch that deserves anything bad that happens to her? It kind of seems that way. If Carly had miscarried and Liz was waving baby stuff around two days later, then, damn, Carly would have tried to rip her heart out.

I had an annoying “WTF” when the writers tried to have Ned recall some GH history. This happened after there were some comments made at the Q mansion in regards to Courtney being a former stripper. A.J. said something rude about it and Ned jumped in to say the whole reason Courtney had stripped in the first place was to prevent A.J. from being charged for arson. Uh, no. That’s not why she did it. It was because a drunken A.J. drove his car into the side of a strip club, couldn’t pay the damages and the owner threatened to call the police. Courtney arranged to strip at the club to pay for the damages. A.J. committed arson months later when he burned down that same club and then Jason paid off the owner to just walk away and forget about it. It really irks me that the writers can’t accurately recall their own damned storylines from within the last year.

A curious “WTF” occurred to me when Liz left her shift at Kelly’s to go with Ric and see the house he’d picked out for them. Liz referred to a cook in the back, but there were no other waitresses to be seen. Courtney and Penny were at the bridal shower, Bobbie is missing in action, so who was going to wait on all those people?

WTF, I guess I’ll stop there. It’s as good a place as any. I do have a “When-TF” on my mind and that is, when is the Courtney and Jason wedding anyway? He’s already had his bachelor party and she’s already had her bridal shower, so it can’t be too far off can it? I just get the sense that this whole event is being rushed and for some reason, it seems to be all about Carly, not Courtney.

I am wondering about Courtney’s wedding dress. She didn’t find any she liked from Biff, the stylist, so he drew one for her that she put her seal of approval on. How long does it take to create a custom-made, designer wedding dress? Wouldn’t there be details like the type of fabric and whether or not there will be any lace or beading and if so, what kind, followed by many fittings? WTF? Well, I guess it’s not that big of a deal. If I was making a designer dress for the sister of a mob kingpin, you’d better believe I’d be cranking that baby out at top speed until it was finished.

I’m sure it will be fine. Even though I’m not really a Jason/Courtney fan, I do hope their wedding is a beautiful one. We are starved for “beautiful” things on GH right now (not counting the beautiful cast, of course). After the ceremony, all hell can break loose for all I care, but I hope we can have a wedding with no guns, bombs, or anything else but the wedding going on at that moment. I would feel a little more secure about that if someone could answer my big “Where-TF” question:

“Where’s Elton?”

On second thought, has Elton ever had a wedding he’s planned turn out to be a success? I don’t think so, but that’s through no fault of his. At least they are beautiful failures, so WTF; let’s get Elton back.

And, in closing, if you are a GH fan and as you watch, you sometimes find yourself wondering, “WTF,” then you probably have good reason to. Remember:

If it walks like a duck,

And it looks like a duck,

And it quacks like a duck,

Then it better be a duck, or else,

WTF?

;-)