Mecurial Mercurio  By Sherry Mercurio
May 29th, 2002

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Hi all!  Iíve been away on vacation since mid-May and am still working on catching up on GH episodes I missed.  So since it will probably be a little while before Iím prepared to comment on current stories, Iíve decided to give you something to keep you busy in the meantime.   

In honor of every high school seniorís favorite month of the year, I have, for your perusal, my list of Class Personalities.  I took the categories directly from an old yearbook (though before Iím done I may add one or two of my own) and will just be giving you my off-the-cuff opinion on who fits the description at this moment in time, going into the past would make this impossible since nearly everyone could fit in each category I suspect.  This is obviously very subjective, so donít get all bent out of shape if you donít like my choices!!  In fact, Iíd be happy to hear your choices for any or all of the categories and if I get enough responses on them I will post the most popular ones next time I write, so you can all have your say too.   

Keep in mind, I am talking about the characters and not the actors here.  But in the interest of fairness, I will disclose as I go where my own name showed up in my senior yearbook so no one can accuse me of picking on their favorite characters without being able to take it myself!   

General Hospital Class (Cast??) Personalities 2002

Most Likely to Succeed:  Well, Helena, of course!  She hasnít been completely unsuccessful at anything, in my opinion.  She will always land on her feet and keep on going.  No contest.

Class Threat to Society:  TPTB are just begging to have Maxie fit in this category but sheís not even a blip on my radar.  So Iím going to go with Carly on this one.   She is the one person everyone in town believes could do just about anything and thatís a threat alright.

Most School Spirit:  Gotta go with Felicia on this because I canít picture anyone else on the show being able to pull off jumping up and down in a cheerleading uniform.  If nothing else, she is peppy!  Disclosure:  I was a cheerleader, if memory serves it was for one year, in high school.  I quit because I just never got the hang of the peppy factor.  I never looked quite happy enough I donít think. 

Class Clown:  Elton.  Though Big Alice and Reggie are close seconds.

Most Helpful:  Andreas looks the most helpful to me, no doubt about that. 

Most Gullible:  Oh, letís see, who could it possible beÖummm, COURTNEY, maybe?  When Mike asked AJ how he would like it if Courtney knew what he was doing, AJ all but said ďOh, Mike, your daughterís too dumb to believe thatĒ.  Iím still pulling for her to wake up and rock AJís world by removing herself and her support from his life just in time for him to realize he has got to have her!

Nicest Smile:  Sonny, I canít help it.  Disclosure:  I showed up in this category Ė it was the only nice one I showed up in.

Most Athletic:  Carly.  Long distance swimming, bluff diving, walking untold distances to get to her funeral, Sonny AND Zander climbingÖhardly being out of breath after that initial acrobatic sex with Sonny Ė thereís your winner.

Class Brain:  Well, Liz and Kristina are already giving their acceptance speeches, Iím sure, but Iím going with Helena on this one too.  Everyone knows the most likely to succeed and the class brain gotta be the same person Ė thatís just how it is.

Best Attitude:  Three-way tie on this one.  Leslie, due to her ever smiling face even though sheís been relegated to full-time babysitter.  Andreas, due to his uncomplaining ďYes, MadameĒ response to everything.  Elton, due to his ability to turn everything he encounters into hilarity.

Most Artistic:  Liz would be an obvious choice here, but I donít like her much and besides what has she painted lately, huh?  So Iím voting Michael.  His card for Sonny was a work of art and was given more scenes and even some shots all itís own Ė Lizís junk never got that and that says something. 

Best Personality:  Elton, heís who you want at your next party.

Most Quiet:  Ok,  youíve got the obvious which are Lucas and Lulu who are quiet because they basically donít exist.  Then youíve got Audrey and Leslie who used to have lives to talk about, but now they prop up someone else in the scene.  Then you have Leticia who I think is the character we actually see the most but doesnít say much.   But Iím going to put Kristina here because in my perfect world she will be really quiet, really soon (see next segment, below).

Best Laugh:  Oh, Stavros, hands down.

Teachers Pet:  It must be Liz because she must have a back up somewhere to be able to have that attitude and still be walking around upright.

Class Couple:  Luke and Laura, no discussion allowed on that one.

First to Marry:  Gia and Nik.  Something to do with not being able to testify, Iím sure.  Those two were always hanging out with the wrong crowd, Iím not surprised.

Most Sophisticated:  Janine, of course.  Just ask her.

Class Flirt ( Male):  Stavros, was there anyone he didnít stand up and salute for?

Class Flirt (Female):  Carly has probably flirted with the most men lately.  Though I think if we saw more of Amy she would probably win.

Bachelorette:  Alexis, I canít picture her getting married anytime soon.  Disclaimer:  I was class bachelorette, mostly for the same reason I chose Alexis for this category.  A little hard on men, a lot distrustful of men, keeping everyone at a distance.  Oddly, I believe I may have been one of the first to get married though so we were all surprised on that one.  My charming husband managed to change my mind about quite a few things!

Bachelor:  Jason, canít picture him ever getting married.

Class Mouth:  Poor Amy, Kristina done stole your one claim to fame.  Disclaimer:  Sucks having to admit to this given that I just put Kristina in this category!  In my defense, it wasnít that I talked to much (it really wasnít!) it was that I had a smart mouth according to a few of my teachers Ė but I guarantee, the class would have never gotten through Chemistry or Trigonometry without me to lighten it up a bit.  Never. 

Best Dressed (Male):  Sonny Ė never once thought his outfit was all wrong.  Variety wouldnít hurt him but canít fault his dress code.

Best Dressed (Female):  Helena Ė never thought her outfit was all wrong either. 

Now, on to my ďLast Will and TestamentsĒ to our beloved characters.  Again subjective and again, Iíd be happy to hear yours.   And, no, Iím not really going anywhere.  Just pretend Iím graduating out of GH and this is what I, in my all-knowing retrospect, would like to leave my fellow PCíers. 

Last Will and Testament to

Edward:  The deed to the Q mansion purely because Iím sick of hearing Monica talk about ďherĒ house.  Enjoy it Eddie. 

Carly:  Because Iím feeling nice, I leave you a real female friend that will help you see the right ways to get the life you want.  If that doesnít pan out I leave you another Lexus, a bluff and a scene that really upsets you.   

Bobbie:    A nanny for that pesky Lucas.  So he will no longer be constantly under foot and stealing your scenes.

Sonny:  Condoms Ė what else?  Oh, and real body guards and a security systemÖ

Leslie:  A job out in the real world where we can see you.

Liz:  Lots of paint, brushes and canvas along with a studio door that locks from the outside.  The first person you unfairly mouth off to gets the key and will let you out when they think youíve learned your lesson.  You better hope itís not Carly.

Maxie:  You will be taken over by one Miss Richards.  Then you will be involved in a teen story that is not over the top and annoying. 

Kristina:  A very nice funeral.

Alexis:  Peace and quiet once the funeral is over.

Skye:  Stefan

Tony:  A big juicy hospital story with a woman on the side.

Laura:  Your old personality back.

Luke:  More scenes with Roy, and adventure galore.

Roy:  Flea shampoo, a reason to wear a suit once a month (Iíll figure out the reason later, just wear it)

Lucky:  I have nothing for you man.  Sorry, canít help you.

Jax:  The inability to ever again fly in (or fly to) another exotic meal.

Stavros:  Nine lives, come on back.

AJ:  Carly.  You know you still want her.

Roscoe:  The ability to be a formidable opponent for Sonny but with a soft side for the ladies, Iíve got plans for you.

Lulu:  Sorry hon, but you will be kicked out of the campfire girls or whatever that little group is and you will spend some time with your father.  You will learn his philosophy in life so you can carry on the Spencer name with pride because Lucky ainít gonna do it the way heís going these days. 

Lukeís Club:  More drinkers, a little music now and then.

L&B:  You serve no purpose unless you count yourself as a playground for Kristina (and sheís dead) so bye, bye. 

Wyndemere:  Scoobie spray and then ÖStefan. 

I could probably go on with these all day but Iím out of time for now.  As I said, feel free to send me yours Ė Iíd love to read them.  I will return with a regular column when I get all caught up Ė at this point I am watching current shows and past shows all out of order so I canít possible relay my opinions in any way that will make sense!  Itís coming though, I promise.  It was exciting to come back from vacation and visit the message boards to see people discussing things and being excited about where things are going Ė itís very heartening, isnít it?  Even if we donít like it all, itís finally getting us talking again!  That makes me very happy.   

Take care,


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May 14, 2002
April 24, 2002 April 17, 2002 April 10, 2002 April 4, 2002
March 29, 2002 March 22, 2002 March 15, 2002 March 6, 2002


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