My Take on General Hospital

By

Carolyn Aspenson 

I have issues. Okay, that’s obvious! But I mean I have issues with General Hospital. I have such a problem with the show right now that I can’t seem to watch a full episode without a true “WTF!?” face. My husband thinks it’s funny. He’s even hinted that maybe it’s time to stop watching. And I’m starting to think he may be right, for a change. It’s not like it’s General Hospital anymore anyway. It’s more like “The Life & Times of the Fab Four”.  

Let’s start with the new opening. Kudos to GH for FINALLY getting rid of the Brenda and Sonny scene that’s been there forever! That’s one of the few things that made me happy this week. But did you notice all of the other shots are only of Sonny & Carly and Jason and Courtney?  WTF!? If I were any of the other actors on that show I’d be steamin’. Don’t they get any recognition? I think Rebecca Herbst plays the best blind person I’ve ever seen hands down. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she’s truly blind. Give the girl some credit please folks. And what about Alcazar? Knowing how many people love this guy (and I know because I get constant emails saying how much you all love him… but remember, he’s MINE!  J ), you’d think they show him eating M&M’s or something.  (YOWZA!) But nope. Nothing. Nada. It’s all about SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney.  One big, annoying word. 

I think I may have mentioned a time or twenty that I’m not a fan of ‘Courtney’.  I don’t think Alicia Willis is a bad actor. I loved her with Billly Warlock, (I’d love anyone with Billy Warlock, if they’d just give the guy a girlfriend and a storyline!) but frankly there is absolutely no chemistry between her and Steve Burton.  It seems forced on us, like we’re supposed to love them just because we’re told to. Jason and Robin had chemistry. Jason and Elizabeth had chemistry. Jason and Courtney are flat.  Have you noticed these two are almost identical to Carly and Sonny? Watch them Monday. Jason’s actions, comments, even the way he enunciates his words, his pauses between sentences, are all Sonny-like. Same with Courtney. She is just like Carly. Are these four taking acting lessons together? It’s like the choreographer from that cheerleading movie “Bring it On”. They’re all doing the exact same thing because that’s what they know.  News flash! If they started to interact with other characters on the show, they might not all be Stepford actors. Steve Burton used to be able to act. Before the head incident, that is. The real problem I have with this is that I personally don’t think Maurice Benard can act. I think he’s being himself. So why would Steve Burton emulate that?  I just don’t get it.  

I’m not sure what you think, but I bet that Tamara Braun and Alicia Willis are on the same menstrual cycle. Two women spending that much time together? It’s a given. I feel for Steve Burton and Maurice Benard. That’s like my husband and my best friend’s husband. They’re always out at Home Depot on those weekends when our pheromones are playing tag.  

Perhaps they shouldn’t be called the “Fab Four”. Maybe something more true, more appropriate like “The Clones” or even “The S-S-D-D-A” (same shit, different day actors. Sorry Kathy!) I’m just completely over them. And now, the writers are mingling the only two main stories on the show together: The Nikolas, Emily, Zander & Lydia quadrangle and the The Clones. I think we’ve been misunderstood. When we said we wanted more stories, we didn’t mean more stories with the same characters, SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney. In the infamous words of my genius-like four year old son, “DUH!”  

On a side note, I would like to personally apologize to Kathy Hardeman because she is going to be shocked when she reads me talking trash about her favorite man, other than husband and sons, Steve Burton. I hope she can forgive me!  

Now on to more important issues. We get a brief amount of Greg Vaughn each week, doing his Jacob Young imitation. The guy can act, I’ve seen it. I just wish they’d let him do it instead of making him into a not-deserving-of-his-emmy-Jacob-Young-clone. That just grinds my chain! So we’ve got Lucky becoming a police officer. Where’s the tacky polyester uniform with the “CADET” iron on? Hello people! Yes, this is a soap but can we have a taste of reality here every once in awhile? I, myself, in my skinnier, healthier days was a police cadet and let me tell you, never once did I get to investigate a murder of which I was personally involved. (Truth be told, I was never personally involved in any murders, but you get my point, right?) Heck, all I got to do was issue parking tickets. Lucky should be doing some of that! We now know that everyone who’s ever been offered a ride home from Kelly’s actually does have a car since all of them were shown as possible suspects for hitting Elizabeth. So I’m sure there’s a lot of illegal parking to be stopped in PC. Go for it Lucky! Bring on that ticket book!  

And thank God Emily was cured! I must have missed that episode. Last I knew she was in the hospital sharing a mutual dream with Prince Nik who then kissed her out of a coma when she was near death. Now she’s out and about RUNNING ON THE DOCKS! I am truly amazed that the cancer chemo that didn’t work, actually did. Or if it didn’t, I guess I missed the episode of that one shot chemo treatment that allowed her be healthy and well enough to start exercising again, keep her hair, get rid of the terrible dark circles under her eyes and look like the Homecoming Queen she was in Macon, GA years ago.  I hope they bottle that cure and sell it over the counter.  The writers would be rich in a heart beat.  

Okay, I admit it, any scene where Tyler Christopher has his shirt off is worth watching. I don’t care what it’s about.  Lydia, Emily, Lucky, a car wash. Anything. Bring it on!  

Now let’s talk about the really, really stupid storyline that’s started this week. Lilly comes back from the dead. Do I like the premise? Yes! I like all things Ted King (and have even started watching his previous series, Timecop on FX just because he’s so darn hot!). And I like the fact that they are playing with the mind of a nutcase, Sonny the Mob King. I keep praying that God will allow the powers that be to actually push Sonny off the top of the mountain we know as PC and let Alcazar be the king of the mountain for a change. But that ain’t gonna happen. The problem I have with this storyline is again based on the writers true inability to even be remotely able to at least TOUCH on reality. 

Folks, Lilly has been dead since 1996. Nothing personal but she would NOT look as good as the Lilly I saw walking around Sonny and Carly’s penthouse Friday. Where’s the worms? The maggots? At least some bones sticking out of her rotting skin somewhere? Come on! She wouldn’t be even partially whole anymore. She’d be DUST! Crumbs of a human’s body left to rot away six feet under. And don’t even get me started on the dress! The pure “EW” factor of someone digging up the body and actual implication of wearing the dress that was attached to all of that rot and maggot infestation is just way too much for me to handle.  Give the girl some worms protruding out of her cheeks and maybe I’ll be more convinced.  But right now it’s just plain funny because it’s so stupid.  

There is really one thing I like about General Hospital right now. Dillon and Georgie. They have such amazing chemistry together and I swear, it’s like he is really in love with her!  But given the fact that he’s really 20 and she’s 14, that would be a bit illegal. I really enjoy the realism these two share, their ability to interact and play off of each other. On Friday, when Georgie commented that everyone was looking at them and Dillon made reference to his hair, even my husband (who doesn’t watch the show, remember?) cracked up. Great actors, great chemistry. I hope these two get recognition. They deserve it.  

Well, I think I’ve ripped on GH enough for the week. Let’s see how many emails I get in defense of SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney and how many I get agreeing with me! I’m sure someone’s going to get personally offended. I guess I have a talent in offense!  

Have a great week! Eat healthy and exercise!