Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away. 

Happy Halloween Again!!!

That's right, baby, it's Sage's FAVORITE holiday!!!  Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy!!!  Sage luuvvvvsssss Candy and everything about Candy and lots of Candy and all kinds of Candy and masses of Candy and Cannnny cannnny cannnny kannny kannny gimmme more cannnddy.   Wait.  I guess I already said that in yesterday's column, didn't I?  Oh well, something as important as that definitely bears repeating.  I'll spare you from saying it again.

I have been holding off on this column for a bit, waiting for a bit of key info that doesn't seem to be dislodging.  It's like having a chunk of food caught between your teeth and no matter how many ways and angles you employ, it just doesn't move.  So I'm going to jump into the column, which is usually the summoner of the info.  It's like lighting a cigarette in a restaurant being the summoner of the food.   Of course, you can't do that in California any more, which is OK.  So I'm going to throw the column out here and I'll keep posting info through the week as I get it.  That way, you can come back and visit me more often.  : Þ

Of course, what I was trying to find out what this big ground-breaking, never done on Daytime TV THING is that is supposedly coming up on GH in November.  I have snooped around in a number of very reliable places and so far, I've turned up a whole bunch of "huh?"  No one that I know who is directly associated with the show has heard anything about it or they are better liars than I thought they were.  A friend showed me where Cindi Rinehart  posted on her message board that it is starting next week and will culminate in November.  She seemed to imply that even she was unaware of exactly what it is.  Evidently, it started with a comment Chad Brannon said and went from there.  The net is abuzz with a million ideas of what it could be.  If Guza pulls this off and surprises everyone, it will be a coup beyond compare and as much as I can't stand the guy, honey, I'd love to see him do it.

Guza has spent his most recent stint in the Head Writer's chair (which he and Charles Pratt cuddle into like two toddlers in Daddy's recliner) thumbing his nose at the internet and proclaiming that whatever the scoopsters say, he will do the opposite.  This guy is really, really angry and he's really, really angry at all of us.  If he is able to come up with some kind of explosive secret that blows us all away, he will have won what he perceives as a critical battle.  The beauty of it is that if he does, we'll win too because we'll get something phenomenal and it will blow us away.  I will keep digging and let you know if I hear anything.  How interesting it would be if it was a Dallas special with Bobby (Bobbie?) in the shower and the last two years turn out to be a dream.

Scenes have been falling onto the cutting room floor like mad lately with new scenes being filmed at the last minute.  Scripts are more carefully monitored and the cast is pulled more tightly into check.  Scoops are getting harder to pull up all the time.  Rumors abound of trouble behind the scenes, of fits over scoops getting out to the public, of false scripts and of taping stories in different directions at the same time to throw off leaks.  Of course, most of it is probably drama...wait...make that Drama equaling a tempest in a teacup, but usually, war thur's smoke, thur's far, at least a little spark, anyway.

I've been asking and asking about the rumor of Finola Hughes coming to GH the beginning of next year and the answer has been fairly consistent that she's happily ensconced at AMC with no intention of leaving.  It could all be smokescreen and that's been done before, but I'm getting a very united front.

Same goes (unfortunately) for the rumored return of two fan favorites, Tristan Rogers and Julian Stone.  Both seem to still fall into the "not contacted" category.  I'd sure love to be wrong about that one. 

A new perspective rose up out of the ashes on the issue of Steve Burton's nipples, so I'm going to be forced to go back into the issues again.  One astute reader points out that while in acting, Steve can "pretend" to kill people for Sonny as Jason, Steve actually has to show Steve's nipples (as in the shared Jason/Steve nipples) and use Steve's lips to kiss an actress and that's not pretending.  OK, I can definitely see that logic, but I still think if it's really a problem, he's in the wrong line of work.  On the other hand, this is a ManSoap that we are watching, so kissing is fairly extraneous and love, romance and friendship are unnecessary story components.  What we're watching, see, is a G rated episode of The Untouchables without the cops.

But that's not really true, it just feels like it sometimes.  One has to admit there was some good footage in the flashbacks today of Brenda and Jason's romantic elopement: (click the pics)

You can definitely feel the love.  I find it hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious:

It would have been hilarious if this woman had broken Liz over her knee like kindling.  This is downright embarrassing to watch, so I can only imagine how painfully humiliating it was to tape...something akin to dancing on the bar, I would imagine.  I found myself fixated on Liz's mouth, terrified it was going to jump off the screen and get me.  Get me bad.  I was having horrid memories of Kevin and Kelly pretending to be gangstahs (I'm smacking my gum here) on OLTL.  I'm quite sure that Tony Geary refused to be anywhere near these scenes, which is probably why they sent him to jail in the upcoming scenes.

This, however, had the desired effect on me:

While I have said that I do not tend to form specific attachments to particular characters, actors or couples, I do have to say that with the exception of her time of being dipped in Idiot Oil during the Sonny Years (God, did it not seem like years?), I have always enjoyed Alexis and NLG.  Yesterday was no exception.  I really felt her pain as she realized she really does love Ned and feared she'd lost him.  I'm sure it will be sweet and sticky when Kristina shows up in spirit form to give her blessings to the union.  

Sharp eyes noticed that the woman playing Lady Ashton in Alexis' journey into Twilight Zone Cable Company was none other than Susan Diol who played Alexis when NLG went on emergency leave when her father died.  

The Nexis montage moved me right back into wishing them together again.  I'd been rather indifferent and was tossing my hand and quipping about too much water under the bridge.  After watching it, especially the scene above, I was screaming at Alexis, "Just tell him!!!!"  :)  It takes a LOT to get me excited, folks.

"Ow ow ow ow ow"  You think that hurts,
Sweetheart?  Daisy's gonna pop a cap in 
you day after tomorrow!  THAT's gonna hurt.

We are hearing that for November sweeps, Alexis goes into pre-term labor and delivers her little girl.  Peanut survives, but there is neonatal Drama worth of Daytime TV.

Ohhhh, Skye!  My favorite redhead just can't stay out of her own way!  Sax is about to come crashing down like the walls of Jericho when Jax learns that Skye knew Brenda wasn't dying and didn't bother to tell either of them.  Skye plays right into a skillful Alcazar's hands when she crosses over into enemy lines.  He encourages her to save her manage by pushing Brenda toward Sonny, but she's not the only lady within two degrees of Brenda who makes a deal with the Devil!

It looks like the kiss Sonny lays on Brenda to calm her hysterics (enough of that slapping BS already!) isn't the only one they share and Daniel (formerly Enrique) has more than a passing interest in Carly.

At this point, all bets are off on who ends up with whom!  Place your bets and hold onto your fan club hats!

Brenda goes to Lily's grave, where she learns something startling.  (What?  They've changed out stones AGAIN and paved the path to her headstone?)

Yep, it's verified that AJ is indeed the stalker, thereby finalizing Guza's destruction of the character of AJ.  The question is, does Coleman or Jason get the girl?

Lucas isn't gay, thilly, he has dyslexia!  That's why he drinks so much!  Now, does this mean he comes out of the closet backwards?

Don't miss the Thanksgiving episode of GH!!

Lane Davies rejoins his former onscreen flame, NLG when he meets her in the park and she goes into preterm labor.  

She finds the tape of Laura's confession and uses it to blackmail Scott into dropping charges against Luke.

You asked for it, you got it...the whole spread.  First, we got to learn that Jason showers like this:

Next, we hear that the goods are on their way according to the promo.  Now, do as Sage says and go dig out "Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer from your rockin' MP3 collection.  What?  Don't have it?  www.grokster.com  I'll wait.  Go on.  You have to have to it for the pics to work right.

   
Simply Irresistible!!

all photos from http://groups.msn.com/GHScreenCaps/

Bring it on, Baby!

Happy Halloween!!!!

That's right, baby, it's Sage's FAVORITE holiday!!!  Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy Candy!!!  Sage luuvvvvsssss Candy and everything about Candy and lots of Candy and all kinds of Candy and masses of Candy and Cannnny cannnny cannnny kannny kannny gimmme more cannnddy.  LOVE the trick-or-treaters!!!!  One for you and one for you and one for Sage and one for you and one for Sage. Chocolate... candy... caramel candy... Skittles... Whoppers... Tootsie Rolls... Baby Snickers... Laffy Taffy... I buy them ALLLL about two weeks ahead of time, giant bags and put them into our huge goofy plastic Witch's cauldron by the front door.  Two weeks before H Day, you get the pumpkins.  Yes, plural.  PUMPKINS or PUNKINS as they are called at my house.  We don't grow punkins because we always end up with waaay more than what we need and can't get rid of them and it makes me sad to see them go bad.  With all of the other food we harvest, we just don't have freezer space for hoards and hoards of punkin.  One can only make so much punkin product.   So I go out and buy a bunch of the most perfect of the specimens out there.  We must have one really tall one, one really fat one, one really round one and about 4-5 of those really cute tiny one.  This year, I put a few white ones in the mix.  I tried the punkin patterns a few years ago and I sucked so uproariously at it  that I never attempted such artistic endeavors again.  Now I just do the ol' rectangle and circly thing.  I do know that you always have to pick punkins with as much of the stem left on them as possible to keep them from an early rot and that instead of carving out the top and entering from there, you cut out the bottom and just sit the punkin down on top of the candle when you're finished.  I've never been a fan of the gutting of the beast.  Honey, that business is just a little too gynecological for Sage!  I do it anyway, but ewwwww.  We need some kind of vacuum extraction device that sucks that crap right out of there and into the pits of hell.  I don't even do the punkin seed thing.  It make me think of punkin chitterlins or something.  Sage just don't do guts, Sweeties.  The actual carving must commence not one day before or after a week prior to H Day, preferably balanced perfectly between the full and new moons.  

On the day of the night of, there is a hushed silence about the house from about 3pm on.  I am in my room, perfecting The Costume of the Year.  Mom is lighting the Samhain candles and closing down the harvest year.  At approximately 5pm, darkness is pushing the light away like an impatient parent hurrying a child off to sleep.  You can feel all of the world holding its breath, waiting for me to exit with The Costume of the Year.  Mom dons her black cape and together, we leave the candlelit parlor and emerge onto the porch.  The cicadas, the frogs, the nightbugs all will hush as we exit, prepared to claim the night.  The jack-o-lanterns are aglow, some happy, some angry, some silly.  We light the luminaries down the front walk and...we wait.  Soon, they begin to trickle in...a princess here, a Batman there until they are coming at a steady pace.  After a blissful couple of hours of oohing and ahhing and doling out candy, we go inside and sit by the fireplace, contemplating the year, thinking of what we want to grow next year, both in harvest and in our lives.  We'll drink hot cocoa or cider and eat popcorn and then mom gets tucked into bed and I read or write and spend the rest of the night with the one whose face I shall wear for The Costume of the Year this year:

 
Thanks to whomever th'hell I stole this pic from

That's right, baby...Sage is hanging with his Ho's and tippin' back the Morgan's and dressin' the Morgan's.  Arrrrgh me mateys.

So I guess we ought to talk about the SOAPS or something here, shouldn't we???

Moment of silence, please.  OK, I'm a shmuck.  I loved every minute of it and honey, I confess, Sage teared up... more than once.  *sniff*  

Oh for the love of God, Anna, just take the guy back and be done with it.  

Rrrowwwl.  Carpe diem?  Carpe Adam, darling, Brooke, seize da man!  I mean, she HAS to know that the Edmund fish is fried and Tad is not nearly as rich as Adam, PLUS there's the opportunity to stick it to Liza like it was done stuck to her, so what the complete hell is her problem??  It's not like she's got a line forming after being seen in public in that funeral ribbon dress she tried to pass off as a wedding gown, so if she's got any sense, she'll open wide those lovin arms and lovin legs and recognize a few million reasons to fall in love!!  You could tell by looking at her that she had a bodacious romp like Edmund never gave her and it's got her prude hormones in an uproar, but I'm here t'tell ya, baby, you gotta grab that golden ring when it come around or you're going to be riding the same old horse forever and ever!!  What Brookie needs is Sage to set da mooood.  A little music..."You don' know why but dyin' to try y'want to kiss da man."  

My girl, Liza, has got to learn that she can't have it both ways!  Adam made his move and broached the seas of romance and she tossed the wave right back in his face, so if that doesn't finalize the division of mansion wings, I don't know what does!  Time for a little dive into the Brooke.

I'm am really loving the relationship that is developing between Kendall and Trey.  At long last family!!  I imagine Erica is going to have more than a little bit to say about that one when she finds out.

I hear that Kendall and Aiden are going to learn that the lines between hate and lust are pretty doggoned thin!  I look forward to that since I really enjoy both actors and think they should use a little heat, especially since Aiden just got dogged by the soon to be Mrs Gray Again.  So close!  But so...no.  I'm betting he's still got a pogo from that one!!

LOVED seeing my precious buddy Donald Steele today!! 

Other than having a FIRED HEAD WRITER, there's not much coming up on AMC.  That's right, ol' Richard's been given the heave ho and non Head Writers, Fred Johnson and Gordon Rayfield are taking over the helm, at least temporarily.  No word yet on how that is going to play out on screen, but a writer change nearly always heralds big changes in cast and story as well, so in a month or so, we should be seeing things through different eyes.  There is a terrible, terrible, nightmarish rumor that our arch-enemy, Megan "The Destroyer" McTavish may be tapped to take over the pen.  Pray.  Pray a lot.  A whole lot.  So why are you still reading???  Get busy praying...NOW!!  RIGHT NOW!!

The Best!!  

 
(photos from http://www.roscoeborn.com, http://ilenekristen.tripod.com/ http://www.southernfoodcompany.com/sb_bio.html http://www.barbaraniven.com and somewhere I can't remember)

The Worst!

I am just loving watching the story of Roxy and Max unfold into a new chapter.  Since they woke up in bed together and he screamed at his beringed hand, Sage has just been hooked, honey, and it's a damned shame that we are only getting the crumbs from that feast!!  Loved seeing Luna light the way from the grave because I absolutely loved Luna from her parachute landing into some wedding I can't remember and I'm too lazy to look up through her untimely death and flight up to be with the Goddess.  I LOVE Liz and her mama bear protectiveness to both of her babies, but Antonio is big time pissing me off with his complete turnaround!!  One minute, he's bragging to Bo and Cris and anyone else who would listen about this FABULOUS woman who helped him get his head on straight and make sense of the whole world, but as soon as he finds out that this fabulous woman also has a fabulous daughter that he intends to marry, he gets all macho and stupid and starts screaming at her in every scene.  Thank God Liz has the chutzpah to scream back at him!  Honey, I'm so ready for a throw down between the Evil Carlotta and Liz any old day they want to bring it on!  I know Liz can take her and maybe then Carlotta could manage to keep her body parts under control (as in her mouth shut and her nose out of other people's business!!).  If I can't have the Liz-Carlotta Smack-Down, perhaps they can send Lindsay in to do the job.  She seems to have some pent up fury.   

I can't help but watch the story of stalker crazy Al and think of how much more creepy it would be if Michael Weeks was still playing Al.  I could totally get into a skinny little boy sniffing after Jen, having gotten a taste of his lust object a few times and developing a seriously fatal attraction.  Nathaniel Marsten just looks like a big bully from the get go, so there's no sheebang behind it.  (Speaking of such stories, whatever happened to Kendall and JR??  I was kind of digging on that...back to our regularly scheduled OLTL).

I've loved seeing Todd and Starr working together.  There is such chemistry between the two actors and it has been a real pleasure to see them playing off one another again.

Is there enough good stuff to say about Roscoe Born?  His turn as Mitch/Michael has been the absolute proof that we have been way too long without a decent bad guy.  Not since Carlo Hesser crawled out of the sea have we had a good villain with whom to contend and he more than fits the bill.  I just want him to talk to me for a little while...Precious, I'd join his cult, the Columbia House DVD club and the Promise Keepers if he'd just talk to me in that voice and give me those Scooby Doo eyes for a while ("Watch the shiny coin of gold and you will do as you are told!"  I suuuree will!)

I'm eager to see how they are going to play out the promised twists and turns coming up in the Natalie and Jessica story.  It's a damned shame that Clint is doing this long distance!  I've heard one of the bombshells is that Natalie will actually MARRY Mitch and then he will keep her in the marriage by telling her he'll kill Cris if she doesn't stay with him.  It's a good thing he didn't threaten to kill Jen or he'd have to contend with being elected Mayor of Llanview and all!!

So are we taking bets on how long it's going to take that little nurse chick Marcy to throw a rod and have her engine start to knock?  She's definitely a nut waiting to crack and I think we're going to find that Jenn invested poorly in the confidence department on that one!

That's all for now!  GH will follow tomorrow!  I'm waiting for some info and the gist of the column depends on it, but I didn't want to rip you guys off in the meantime, so here's something to hold you over:

photo from http://groups.msn.com/GHScreenCaps/

LOVING YOU!!!!

Yikes!  Who's Writing This Crap??  More GH Stuffs!

What's happening in November?  Good stuff, bad stuff and downright dumb stuff!!  Some of it's great and some of it could have definitely benefited from the writing assistance of a third grade class.  Here we go!

When she returns from helping Lucky, Elizabeth gets some startling news from Courtney.

Jax learns from Dr Reinmar, who treated Brenda in Switzerland, that Brenda is not dying.

Skye shares what she's learned with AJ.  He tells Skye she has to get Jax out of town and FAST to keep him from finding out what she knows.  

AJ makes plans with Courtney to move to Manhattan.

Brenda and Sonny argue over who should shoot Alcazar.

In the South American jail, Jason creates a distraction and he and Carly are able to escape from their guards amongst butt-kicking action (that does NOT tear off his shirt even a little).

Courtney and Liz bond over not being married to Jason like Brenda is.

When Skye surprises Jax with a trip to Nice, he surprises her by telling her what he learned from Dr Reinmar.  Whoops!  Skye's slip is showing.  She zigs when she should have zagged and Jax realizes that she already knows about Brenda.  She tries to convince Jax that Brenda already knows, but he tells her that he's tired of her and tired of her lies.  He then breaks HER heart by telling her that Brenda has HIS.  (Sorry, Sax fans)

AJ blows up when he hears Courtney leaving a goodbye message to Jason before they move to Manhattan.  In his rant, he mentions something that only the stalker would know...that Jason was training Rosie the dog.  Courtney is NOT asleep at the wheel when she hears that!  Ker-WHACK!!

Jason and Carly take Sonny's plane to look for him and Brenda.

On the island, Sonny bonks Alcazar on the head and ties him up, then he and Brenda squabble about who should kill him.  Alcazar starts playing mind games with her and she feels like she's having an "episode."  She takes off through the jungle with the gun (?!).  

Brenda breaks down, thinking that she's losing her mind.  Sonny comforts her she begs him to kill her and end it.  He decides to passionately kiss her instead.  

Courtney finds out that Coleman was on AJ's payroll and gives AJ a slap back into reality despite his quick talking.

Gunfight at the OK Island!!  Picture Jason and Sonny and Alcazar bitching and shooting at one another.

Carly tries to save Brenda who is in quicksand going down when the corniest words ever uttered on ABC Daytime are spoken.  "Find Sonny.  I'm dying anyway."

Collective opinion of Sage Readers:  Diabetics can drink champagne in very small doses, depending on the severity of the Diabetes.

Some sharp eared reader SWEARS that she heard Wynona call Coleman by his first name:  Mitchell.

Kate, Kate, Kate!!  Our Very Cynical Kate Brown said back in FEBRUARY that Natalie and Jessica were fraternal twins!  YOU GO GIRL!!

And you guys all laughed at me last July (July 12th entry for GH, Baby) when I said Brenda and Jason were a possibility!  I'll take those flowers, gifts, kisses and apologies right now, folks.  Thannnk you!!  (If everyone who wrote to bitch me out for saying that were to contribute $10 to EOS, we could take down the frickin' popups forever!)  LOL  Maybe we SHOULD go into the scoop business instead of the gossip gig!  Nah. . .this is way so ever much more fun!!  

Lovin YOU!!

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