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Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all. If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. May you have happiness all of your days. If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while. If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway. I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass. Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest. If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do. If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME! This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion. It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that. *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen. I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.* I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town. You'll get them back when you leave. Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war! Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!
Note: Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail. He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication. Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows. Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away.
| November
1, 2002 7:30 am |
Yummy!
It's a New Thing!!
At the top of my page, you can now search the net right from Sage! I've included some of our favorite (publishable and accessible from your work computer - ahem) keywords for easy access to the world of soaps on the net!! Have fun surfing the waves of the internet on Sage! Every time you search the web from our site, EOS gets a penny or two, so that's one more way you can help us out without any direct financial donation! We definitely appreciate those who are able to contribute, but for those of you who just can't, this is a way you can help! Surf me, Darling!! Surf me gooood.
Love,
| October
31, 2002 10am |
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY MA!!!
Happy 80th to the best Ma a guy could ever have!! You've been there for me all the way down the line, Ma, and I love ya. I hope you like all that comes your way in the next few days and I look forward to spending your birthday with you tonight!!! There were a lot of times this year when I didn't think we'd make it to 80, but you always swore it wasn't time yet, and you were right! Here you are back better than ever!!
To all of those folks who signed Ma's guestbook and wished her well, she and I both want to say thanks! She loved reading every entry and still goes back over them all from time to time. They mean the world to her!
Loves,
& Mom Bourland
| October
31,
2002 9:30am |
Yes,
It's Me Again - Off Topic This Time
ARRRGGGHHH!!! First, go read this: WHAT I DID TO MY FRIEND KURT (scroll down to When's the last time he really ticked you off and why?). I'll wait. So now that you know about that, I forgot to tell you guys that I got that STUPID HEAD BACK again last week!! That damned Kurt GLUED ALL OF THE PIECES HE COULD FIND back together again so now the Godblessed thing is even uglier than before because it's missing big chunks. That can't be fair! If he doesn't send the whole head, I don't think it should count. Lord knows how long it's going to take for me to get this thing back to him again. The worst part is that he called me up, acting all scared and stuff and said, "Dude, I've called the cops! I was driving by your house and I think I saw someone sneaking around looking in your window!!" Of course, I go into Sage The Bold mode and grab a baseball bat and go out to see what's up. Got to protect my Ma and all. So I'm about half tweaked out on that whole "fight or flight" thing and sure enough! As I crept up on the side of the house that has the living room windows, there's a figure crouched down between the window (with open curtains) and the bushes that go along side the house, so you can just see the head peeping up by the window looking in!! Being all brave like I am and all, I yell out, "HEY!! What are you doing!!" They don't move at all and so I ease up on them, all stealth like and POP!! I give them a whack (OK, so it was more like a little poke) and I about shat myself when their head rolled off!!! Holy Shiznats!! I screamed like a little girl (OK, I'm an adult, I can admit that) and the head bounced off the bushes and landed squarely at my feet. Kurt couldn't have planned it better if he'd planned it better. Pinned to the mutilated face of the head was a note that said, "Gotcha." I looked up just in time to see Kurt's car start up in front of our house where he'd been parked with the lights off. To make matters worse, he yelled, "Suckerrrrrr!!!" as he tore out. >:< I'm getting pissed off all over again just writing about it! So now I've got that stupid assed head back again and I've got to spend some time figuring out how to return it to him. God, I feel sooo...bested.
| October
31,
2002 8:40am |
OLTL
Buzz!!
OH MAN, Gary's gone and done it this time!! Check out what Executive Producer, Gary Tomlin said in the November 12th issue of ABC Soaps In Depth:
"I have to say, I was sort of led to believe that there were more Todd and Tea fans than there were. And the ones that are out there have convenient memories. When I went back to screen the Todd/Tea relationship-which everybody had said was so wonderful, that it was so this and so that, and they were so much in love - the thing that stuck out for me was when Todd punched Tea in the face and knocked her out. As a female viewer, I would have trouble getting past that. When you delve into physical abuse...it's a tough thing."
OK, *I* agree with what he was saying and the whole, dreadful "Somewhere In The South Pacific" time, I was watching Todd and Tea go back and forth between love and hate and for me as well, all I could remember was him punching her in the cabana. But I tell ya, TnT fans were RABID about his comments!! Petitions are circulating like mad calling for his immediate dismissal. Whether he had a point or not, it probably was not a very smart thing to be smiting the viewers like that in a public forum!! Have some class, dude!
Yes, it's true! OLTL is definitely recasting Jessica in light of Erin Torpey leaving later this year. Erin plans to hang out with friends and basically do anything BUT acting for a while! Good for her! After 13 years on the job, I'd say she's entitled!
Are you ready for this one?? From an ultra-reliable source I've heard that JESSICA is actually the daughter of Viki/Niki and Mitch Laurence!!
I hear if Dorian is going to return, it won't be this year. :(
***Moment of silence***
| October
31,
2002 8:40am |
How
To Write To The Powers That Be
As soon as viewers began to realize they had a voice, they started writing. But in an age of e-mail and petitions and campaigns and phone calls and (*gasp!*) snail mail, it can be hard to know how best to be heard. From what we are told, the most direct route is good old snail mail. The snail mail is tallied, where in most cases, e-mails are not. That isn't to say you shouldn't flood all available avenues if you feel strongly about your case! Do! The more your words are heard, the better! Write to the actors involved, the Executive Producer, the Head Writers, Michael Eisner, the Head of ABC Daytime...just keep the letters going. If you go to our main page at www.eyeonsoaps.com, then click on the soap of your choice, in the frames to the left, you'll see a link for "contacts." That will tell you where to write. Do NOT write to the webmasters of Eye on Soaps! We are simple people who run a website. We don't make decisions regarding the hiring and firing of actors or the disposition of storylines! (If we did, you'd be seeing much better crap on screen than you do now, that's for sure!! Get me and Sherry Mercurio a blue pencil and executive power and watch us work!) Call the comment line, send e-mails, write real, actual letters, but if you do feel strongly about a cause, exercise your right to be heard. Do NOT necessarily expect a reply.
When you write, be sure and edit, edit, edit. Please use SPELL CHECK and GRAMMAR CHECK so that the reader spends less time trying to decipher what you're saying and more time considering what you have written. Do NOT use acronyms (TPTB, TIIC, etc) and expect the reader will know what you mean. Do not write "U" for "you," "2" for "to" or other cutesy word spellings. Be clear. Be succinct. Be honest. Do not threaten or be hysterical or your letter will likely be dismissed as the ravings of a lunatic. Think the letter through, calmly state your position and don't confuse the reader by repeating yourself excessively or overstating your case. Don't be afraid to say that you are a Liason fan or a Sonny and Carly fan or whatever your affiliation might be. Really speak your mind, but do so in such a way that your point will be received in a productive way rather than just screaming obscenities.
For a good example of a letter to The Powers That Be, check out this one, a real one, sent by one of our readers:
http://www.krysiasweb.net/RANTS/WTFH2GH.html
Now, my girl, Christina, is extremely creative, as you will see. You don't have to be. (I am going to ignore the part of the letter where she legitimizes Angela from Soap Opera Central's "Two Scoops" column in the "Soap Opera Publications Execs & Writers" section and evidently leaves Sage to the "And To All Others Whom It May Concern" catch all. ahem.) Just think through what you want to say, even drawing up an outline to follow to make sure you get all of your points covered, then carefully piece together your letter. Proof, proof, proof, then you're ready to go!
| October
31,
2002 7:50am |
A Funny
Click it!! Go on!!
| October
31,
2002 7:45am |
GH
Tidbits for More Treats!!
And don't forget to say "Fangs Alot!!")
For Mid November
Alexis has a disturbing encounter with Alcazar and he leaves her knowing that she's in premature labor.
Sonny surprises Carly.
Oh yes. It happens. Jax and Brenda consummate, while Skye watches through a window.
The Skye is falling, as if off the wagon.
Alexis' labor hits the point of no return when her water breaks. She delivers a tiny baby 2 months early.
The set up continues for "Who's Gonna Kill Alcazar."
| October
31,
2002 7:30am |
HAPPY
HALLOWEEN!!!
Ooooooh Baby!! I'm ready too!! Bring it on!!
So I've got a bunch of treats for all of you, my Darlings, today. The first one is (*sniff*) a beautiful piece of poetry written for my Ma (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MA!!!) by my buddy Just Jenn. I predict you gonna enjooyyyy it! (If you haven't seen "O Brother Where Art Thou," you should be beaten.
And now I bring you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...BOO!
********
To Mrs. Bourland, with apologies to Roger Angell ( the New Yorker guy who does that Christmas poem every year? Do Californians read stuff from New York?)
[From Sage, "No"]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...BOO!
Itıs another day gone and the night comes down
As ghoulies and ghosties scuttle through town
Itıs all hallowıs eve, itıs time to cheer
The passage of another year
But wait! Thatıs not all! [As Popeil would say]
Some of the faces look happy and gay!
And it looks as if they want to scream...
their wishes for a happy Birthday 'een!
Whoıs in this corner, over here?
Come to wish Mom some birthday cheer?
They rise from their coffins happily tho
To say they hope your day's aglow:
Heather, Rick and ol' Ed Q
(the one who drowned in, like, '82?)
Steve and Jessie, Frank and Luck
[The real one guys] and maybe the duck?
Holly, Ruby, Lily, they
Had to go but still say hey!
From the Living room we know
Lots of characters come and go
Where's Jenny Smith, Stefan, and Roy
To wish Miz B some birthday joy?
Sean, Tiffany, Justus, Brendaıs sis,
Lois, Tracy they we miss.
Are V and Chloe on the Isle of the Damned?
(Or maybe SONNYıs islands crammed
with people who just disappeared
Sarah, Lesley it just got weird.
Not to mention Stavros, and his Laura
Helena C now THEREıs a sneaky trick for ya!
Were there two of her? Were there one?
At the moment there are exactly... none.
Is Robert dead? We know his Anna
Is In Pine Valley playing Second Banana
To David H and Tad and Jack
Please bring PC their Scorpios back!
Here are some who've stayed and stayed
Bobby, Scotty never fade
Into the woodwork, they LOVE this place!
And are still more appealing than Amy's face
Also here are Audrey Tony,
Theyıve got wishes never phony,
Gia, Jason, Lucky, Nik
They hope you have more treats than trick!
Maxie, Georgie, Lucas, Flea
(Lulu wherever in PC heck she be)
Send to you their birthday wishes
While theyıre doing the brownstone dishes!
On the sidelines are some of our faves
Who all wish you birthday raves
--Elton, Coleman, Reggy, Cook
would like to sign your birthday book.
Benny Johnny all the hoods
With hearts of gold send birthday goods.
Where'd PC be without Luke S?
(--from what we've NOT seen fine I guess.?)
Taggart, Dara, and the Qs
Would like to light that birthday fuse,
Courtney AJ, Darling Liz,
Want to add some birthday fizz.
And who sends wishes from afar
--that almost-dead-guy, Alcazar.
(Ed note: previous line contributed by Cam, age 11 my Sage-in-Training)
Oh my goodness, I almost forgot!
A few more stir the birthday pot
Brenda, Carly, Michael, Sonny,
Jason, Jax and Jaxıs honey
That Skyeıs the limit, donıt you think?
Wouldnıt she like to drive Brenda back [in]to the drink?
Not to mention Alexis, Ned
The little peanut, Kristina (dead).
From wraiths and live wires, boos to howls
Voices rise from the Hospitalıs bowels
To tell you, you're in our hearts and minds o'er here,
And promise lots more fun this year!
And if a poet might dare to write---
donıt give up without a FRIGHT!
Much love Jen (Just Jen)
Lovin YOU too, Just Jen!!
