Someone Oughta Slap the *&^! Outta That Sonny!
By
Carolyn Aspenson

And I’d personally like to apply for the job. I bet I’m not the only one either. Who writes this guys dialog anyway? It’s obviously NOT a woman because no woman would allow one of their characters to say “Shut up!” to their wife. Twice. In one episode. And countless other times in countless other episodes.

I’m not sure when I stopped liking Sonny. I don’t think I woke up one morning and thought, “today is the day that I will start despising Sonny Corinthos.” I think my dislike for the man sort of evolved. Maybe it was more like a pot of tea. Starting to simmer, first slowly, then faster and faster until the top is blowing off and it’s screeching a whistle all the neighbors can hear over their lawnmowers and surround sound TV’s. Yeah, that’s more like it. My dislike for Sonny started slowly and then simmer to the total disgust I feel for the character right now.

I remember years ago when Sonny was likable, even borderline admirable. He was torn, confused, frustrated, lonely but genuinely caring, trying to do right by those he felt loyal to. He had friends. He did nice things for Elizabeth. He took care of Stone. He had a variety of emotions; happiness, humor and anger. He had dimension. He was even known to smile and laugh and enjoy himself every once in awhile. He was the kind of character a gal could look at and think “I could make him happy. I could be the perfect girl for him.” Women watched General Hospital because of Sonny. He was sensual, enticing, erotic and tortured. Every women’s dream man. Oh and he had a great penthouse and flaunted his women around town. What’s not to like? Sure, we knew he was a bad guy, but what woman out there doesn’t think they can tame the wild spirit of a bad guy and make an honest man out of him? In another column, on another day, I’ll detail some of the loser bad guys I thought I could change! But for now, it’s all about Sonny Corinthos.

Let’s be honest here, I’ve got some friends that have dated/lived with/married guys who were less than gentlemanly, to say the least. But never in my life have I met a guy who tells his wife to shut up, treats her like yesterdays fresh, but today’s spoiled fruit and acts as though he completely disrespects her. If I did, I think my Italian tongue wouldn’t be able to hold itself. Sonny treats Carly as if nothing she thinks, feels, wants or needs matters in his world. To Sonny, his life, his wants, his needs, his feelings, his work...that’s what it’s about. And he feels he is the ultimate and should be held in the highest regard with those around him too.

Excuse me, but why does a loser criminal who has hate sex with his best friends ‘girl friend’ deserve to be treated as royalty? In my world, that’s totally and entirely unbelievable. Okay, okay, I know this is a soap opera and it’s supposed to be unbelievable but I have my limits. I can’t help it.

There are characters we ‘love to hate’. AJ has often been one of them. Stefan would be in that category for me. Scott is the leader of that army. He does the stupidest, most ridiculous and insane things but I love him! (Sure, lately he’s been a bit meaner than normal, but I’m thinking the same person who primarily writes Sonny also writes Scotty.) These ‘love to hate’ characters are fun and warm at times, but just do things that don’t make a lot of sense. They’re not predominantly cruel and heartless and so self involved they can’t see beyond themselves. Remember Carly when she first came to town? I couldn’t stand her. Then she developed a relationship with Jason and I started to tolerate her and soon I loved her! Sonny on the other hand is mean and rude and disrespectful and heartless and disloyal. Everything he does is based on emotions and feelings. His emotions, his feelings. He doesn’t consider anyone else when he sets his mind to a task. Take his ‘moving in with Jason and Courtney’ for example. Aside from that being really stupid writing, it’s ludicrous! Why would he move in with his sister and her new husband/his best friend? First of all, they live right next door to his wife, whom he’s trying to ‘protect’ and secondly, did he forget they just got married? Talk about inconsiderate and selfish! Ever hear of the Biblical quote, “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you?” Um, Sonny? I’m not sure, but I think you misunderstood that quote. It’s not “Do onto others whatever you want and have them do onto you as you demand.” Perhaps you need to get that Bible out and start reading it because you ain’t right. Besides, if you were a bit closer to this God you seem to profess to believe in, when it suits you, you’d not have shit for luck. Maybe it’s me, but I think I’ve got a point there. I’m really tired and bored with Selfish Sonny. It’s time we put him on the shelf and he start to realize what a gem he’s got for a wife. He should be on his KNEES prayin’ she doesn’t pack up and leave him for the likes of Alcazar! Just in looks alone the guy wins, hands down! Add a bit of a soul into the mix and you’ve got near perfection in comparison.

Not only is Sonny selfish, he’s tripped over the line of intelligence into stupidity. Sonny also used to be smart, but lately he seems to be more like a clown. You know the kind at the circus? The ones that try to appear smart but are really just stupid and can’t get anything right? They’re funny because they’re stupid and we enjoy watching them do silly things. Sonny is like that, except I don’t enjoy watching him do anything anymore. The Sonny I used to like so much wouldn’t have just believed he saw Lilybits on his balcony. He would have gone out there, checked out the area for any signs of foul play and then made an educated guess, of which he’d further investigate with his handy sidekick, Anger boy. He would have assumed first is was some type of ploy set up by any one of his numerous enemies and continued down the road of investigation until he found out the truth. Apparently that Sonny was written by someone else because this Sonny is just plain stupid. “Oh look, there’s Lilybits standing on my balcony. She doesn’t look like a ghost, all whole and dressed to the nines. But hey, she’s dead and there’s no one out there mean enough to do anything to try and freak me out so I’m sure it’s really Lily’s ghost trying to tell me something.” Come on already! Enough! I can’t take Stupid Sonny much longer! The torn and mentally anguished Sonny is old. Same shit, different day, my husband would say.

Sonny’s stupidity amazes me at times, but his inability to treat his family with any sense of decency tops the charts. He was terribly cruel to Michael when Carly was kidnapped. He’s repeatedly hurtful to Mike and treats Courtney like she’s stupid and incapable of thinking for herself. We all see how he treats Carly. Like she’s white trash and should be thankful he’s giving her the time of day. Hello! Sonny, get a clue! You’re the one who grew up trash and is leading the life of a criminal! The character should be thankful that he has any love in his life. Carly should have put those boots on and walked out his penthouse door years ago!

You know what really gets me? His excuses. “It’s my work.” “I lied to you to protect you.” “You can’t take care of yourself so I have to do it for you and if you don’t like the way I do it then just shut up.” Etc. Etc. Etc. He uses his work, the ever amazing excuse that everything he does is because he’s protecting his family/friends from this terrible job he has, from his enemies. But when someone, say, Carly for example, lies to him or even does something he doesn’t approve of, she is a terrible person and he may never be able to trust her again and one of these days her excuses won’t matter. EXCUSE ME? Get over yourself buddy because you’re just pure asshole. Amazing! He can lie, he can steal away and kiss Brenda but God forbid Carly have a conversation with the man that helped save her baby and she’s a traitor. I just can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand watching him on his high horse, galloping around like he owns Port Charles and expecting anyone and everyone to do what he says, when he says it and how he says to do it.

Characters are supposed to have dimension. Sonny did, a long time ago. Now he’s a flat character with no chance of growth until he either loses something precious to him (though he lost Lily and the baby and he’s even a bigger idiot now than he was then.) or the writers decide that wife bashing/family bashing/verbally abusing and threatening children and harassing your friends kind of ‘hero’ isn’t what American soap opera fans enjoy. Though, scary as it is, there are so many people out there that still love Sonny Corinthos. I just can’t see why. His appeal is lost on me completely.