March 28, 2003
Getting ready for what I hope will be a
great weekend. Nothing is planned at all. That's part of
what's great about it. Delena has an earache, on Day #2. She's
down with chamomile, warm glycerin drops and Tylenol. She has a
really special scout event she wants to go to tonight, so that gives her
some incentive.
Today is picture day and I'm sorry Delena
missed that. There is always a make-up day, so maybe she can catch
it then. Dylan looked very sweet and handsome for the event.
No, I'm not a Betty Boop fan. Like
the Three Stooges, Boop just gets on my nerves, but I couldn't resist the
cool moon pic.
Today is superclean day so that I *can*
kick back on the weekend. David (my son) is coming to visit today.
The kids are completely enraptured by David's superior video game skills
and they fester for his visits. That makes the weekend better from
the start.
For now, I'll leave you with a few funnies
that my buddy, Sage, passed on to me and wish you a wonderful, blessedly
calm and peaceful Spring weekend.
Forty Warning Signs
of Insanity
1. Your friends tell
you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them
several times with a sledgehammer.
2. Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places
that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
3. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the
bathroom.
4. You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she
sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
5. Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to
relieve yourself on it.
6. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward
of evil dandruff spirits.
7. You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for
setting fire to his lawn decorations.
8. Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
9. People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
10. Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing
day.
11. You laugh out loud during funerals.
12. When your doctor tells you to say ah, you yell out "RAPE! RAPE!"
13. Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you
through that scuba mask.
14. You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've
stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to
one day seek revenge.
15. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
16. Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with
your little illusion.
17. You collect dead windowsill flies.
18. Everytime the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got
its wings!"
19. You like cats. Especially with mayo.
20. You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you
things.
21. You scream "I've got a knife!" to people at your family reunion.
22. You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island,
because they weren't rescued.
23. You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
24. Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards.
25. You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
26. You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head
in the middle of your front lawn.
27. Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name
etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.
28. Melba toast excites you.
29. When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another
room to tell him, because "the napkins have ears."
30. You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells
you.
31. Every time you see the commercial for the Hair Club For Men, you
think to yourself, "I think I'll kill the pope today."
32. You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog,
just for a few minutes.
33. Your main goal in life is to become the president of Bulimia.
34. Nearly everything you say involves the word, "P-toing!"
35. You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a
koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.
36. You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and
pretend that you're a stalk.
37. You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used
to it.
38. You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough)
39. People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a
violation of your rights as a boysenberry.
40. You like reading lists like this. :) |
Good God, She's Verbose!
There's More!
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Mar 27, 2003 |
Mar
26, 2003 |
Mar 25, 2003 |
Mar 20, 2003 |
Mar 18, 2003 |
Mar 17, 2003 |
Mar 10, 2003 |
Mar 6, 2003 |
Mar 5, 2003 |
Mar 4, 2003 |
Feb 27, 2003 |
Feb 26, 2003 |
Feb 25, 2003 |
Feb 24, 2003 |
Feb 22, 2003 |
Feb 21, 2003 |
Feb 20, 2003 |
Feb 13, 2003 |
Feb 12, 2003 |
Feb 4, 2003 |
Jan 24-29, 2003 |
Jan 23, 2003 |
Jan 22, 2003 |
Jan 17, 2003 |
Jan 13, 2003 |
Jan 9, 2002 |
Jan 3, 2002 |
Dec 24-25, 2002 |
Dec 13-18, 2002 |
Dec 12, 2002 |
Dec 11, 2002 |
Dec 10, 2002 |
Dec 5, 2002 |
Dec 1, 2002 |
thru Nov 29, 2002 |
thru Nov 22, 2002 |
thru Nov 18, 2002 |
Nov 8, 2002 |
Oct 23, 2002 |
Oct 9, 2002 |
Oct 4-8. 2002 |
Oct 2, 2002 |
Last of Sept 2002 |
More Sept 2002 |
Aug - Sept 2002 |
August 2002 |
July 2002 |
June 2002 |
April - May 2002 |
Mar 2002 |
Feb 2002 |
Jan 2002 |
Dec 2001 |
Nov 2001 |
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