Add Some Sage and Darling, Everything Will Taste WONDERFUL!! Now Let's Dish About AMC, GH and OLTL!!

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all. If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. May you have happiness all of your days. If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while. If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway. I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass. Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest. If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do. If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME! This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion. It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that. *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen. I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.* I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town. You'll get them back when you leave. Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war! Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS and search from the search engine above to help even more! HOW TO DO "SAGE'S SEARCH."

Note: Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail. He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication. Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows. Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP!

A friend passed on a few extra GH scoops for me. One is that Alexis ends up being the one instrumental in digging up a piece of Cameron's past. Seems he was missing for about 4 years and pretty much off the grid (Sherry Mercurio's room at the Sage Brush Ranch is definitely off the grid). As you probably suspected, there is much more to tell about his family. Talk about over-educated. Turns out he was also a heart surgeon, according to the rumors!

The comedy team of Guza and Pratt are specializing in red herrings, it seems. Of Cameron & ?, Summer & the Senator and Sonny & Faith, SOMEONE's going to be giving Chad a back story for Zanuary. If the rumors are true about A Martinez slipping back in the door now that his series on Lifetime is a bust, he could be involved as well. I've always thought Zander would make a great son for Roy. Flea is in stasis romantically until it's decided whether or not he's returning. I'm good with it as long as she doesn't reinstate that freaky fake accent she affects whenever he's around.

The rumblings of an Emily recast are still, well, rumbling. I have to say, I'm not sure I'd be totally bummed if we got All Zander, All the Time TV.

Keep an eye out for some more good stuff to hit the front page of Eye on GH. Later today, I'll be posting a couple of funnies (including more of JenJen's work). We also have a new Muse Writer coming on board later in the day.

Scroll down a little further on this page to see the entry on Gedstern's Guest Book. This is the place where you pay your respects (take off your hat and put it in your hands!) to the best of the best when it comes to GH scoopage. We'll miss you, Geds.

That magnificent voice of GH reason and rage, Sage's pal Coggie, can be heard in several different places on the net now. Her column at Soap Zone reeled me in years ago (yeah, I know she didn't always like me, but if I only liked people who liked me, I'd be quite the elitist bitch, ne?), then while I was still smelling the paint dry on the site run by a dear friend of mine, Soaptown USA, who should I find but Coggie? Even better, it was the uncensored Coggie! Then, when I went to hang at my other idol's place, General Shmospital, there she was again speaking Words of Shmisdom! I was in heaven! Oh, did I mention she also has her own site as well? The Carol Banks Weber [aka Coggie] Show I *love* when a woman talks dirty just enough to be sessy and not so much that she comes off like Winston cigs, orange juice can hair rollers, trailer courts and Pabst Blue Ribbon with a guest shot on Cops being her 15 minutes of fame. There is such a wonderful network of deliciously irreverent women out there that any more, I can collapse into net reading like a big ol' easy chair and just lap up all of the delicious cattiness.

And that, my darlings, is all Sage has for the moment. Hope you have a magnificent Wednesday, you gorgeous thing, you and enjoy hump day for all it's worth! Of course, every day is Hump Day at the Sage Brush Ranch!!

So many people are writing to ask how to contact Gedstern to wish her a happy retirement that at the suggestion of Kathy Hardeman, I have set up a guest book where you may share your thoughts with the Gedstern staff:

Just click on the Geddy logo above to get to the guest book and say wonderful things about the best site on the net, that is now, sadly, no more.

OK, so I promise not to whine any more about my computer woes and how that has delayed out this week's column >:< , but instead will break out some news that will thrill all of you who follow the off topic stuff.

Click on the pic to read the announcement. I've known about this since Thanksgiving, but didn't want to say anything because it all seemed so sudden and I really didn't know whether or not it was going to play out. I was skeptical, but I have spoken to both of them at length since then and hey, they are not only determined, but are very, very happy, so hey, I'm into it. I am, in fact (clearing throat) both the wedding planner and the guy who gives the bride away (the other bride has someone giving her away as well). I've never been on the planning end, but man, this is a lot of work! So I wanted to explain why I've been kind of scattered and out of it lately. I'm very, very happy for these two and think they will be extremely happy together. You think making one bride and her momma happy, try two, sweetheart!! But I'm going to do a great job and I'll give you the full low down when it's all said and done. If I disappear until Monday, that's why. Wish me luck!!

I really hope the rumors are right, because if Finola Hughes really is moving to GH the beginning of next year, it could mean a return of some of my other faves, but as strong as the rumors are getting, I'm still hearing that she's sticking around AMC for a while yet. Hate to be the stick in the mud, but I'm not getting the confirmation I want for this rumor.

New cutie alert! Daniella van Graas as Finola begins to haunt Aiden's dreams on December 26.

The ever changing face of Dr Zeke "Simone's Dad" McMillian is only a temporary replacement this time. Peter Francis James is subbing for Ruben Santiago-Hudson, who will return to reprise the role at a later time.

One of Sage's finest women recently commented on how much better Aiden looks when he's lying down than when he's vertical saying, "Some men are just better horizontal." Got go with you there, gorgeous! I'd also add that it helps when he doesn't speak. I have a feeling it was the British Consulate who had him shot on a mission of national pride.

There are lots of rumblings going on about the direction that new writers will take AMC in the new year and the lull in activity right now is supposedly the calm before the storm.

New head writers, Josh Griffith and his chief consultant, Michael Malone recently discussed where the new regime plans to take OLTL and it looks quite good. They spoke frankly with SOD and either said what we want to hear by design or accident (Dec 24th issue).

Malone: “The show is so rich in that heritage and it is so rich in the occupational possibilities; we want to open those up more.”

Griffith: “It's visual storytelling. Our goal and our hope is to create a whole new look so that when you're flipping around and you land on ONE LIFE --- bam. Basically, you know where you are and you've gone in there.”

So it will look different from other soaps? This should be interesting! I can always tell it's OLTL because oops! There's Viki! There's Bo! There's Mitch! And they sure aren't on any other shows!

Different types of stories? This should also be interesting. Basically, from what I can tell, all soap opera storylines stem from about 5 different basic frames, so it will be fascinating to see what they can come up with that qualifies as different.

Malone: “Different backgrounds, different classes, different races, different ages. All kinds of human relationships. Parents and children, siblings, friendships.”

Malone: [This genre] “lasts so long because the audience the audience is the most deeply attached in the most loyal way to those families and to those people. There are human emotions that they relate to and care about.

Malone: “You want the audience to want to know. "What's going to happen?" A plot fails when you can put anybody in it. When you combine people you care about with "Oh, my God, what's going to happen to them?" then you get that kind of identification.

Griffith: Every day is Friday. You can't miss a day because you never know what's going to happen and you're dying to know.

Malone: “The vicarious feeling of romance that the audience has. They're enjoying this as if it were happening to them. Romance is not a hot tub and champagne and roses. Romance is the way you say it ... it's not a story about romance, but a romantic story.

Malone: Casablanca is about escaping from the Nazis, but it's a romantic story.

Griffith: It's about a man sacrificing his love for the greater good, and it's one of the most romantic movies ever made. There's plenty of champagne, but there are no hot tubs.

How about making sure your couples click as well! Give us the fire, man, give us the FIRE! These wet noodle romances started with Bo and Melanie and seem to be contagious! I want to see some lightening!

Carly and Courtney continue to bond and go to the PCPD when Sonny and Jason are arrested.

Taggert isn't exactly the height of sensitivity when he arrests Sonny in front of Michael, who is very confused and sad.

Jax and Brenda say their own vows to one another (not a legal ceremony, but a personal, squishy one)

All of you know I was dying for these two to hook up and I'm telling you, Jax be damned, get ready for the inferno!! FINALLY, someone who can allow Skye to be who she really is without having to pretend to be some goody two shoes to please a man!! Bring out the hellcat!!

NO sense writing to me objecting!! I shan't be shaken from my very, very pro Skye and Coleman platform. As I've said before, I NORMALLY do not get partial to any couple, character or actor, but these two give me MAD WOOD and I'm really excited to see it play out!! I know there are plenty of people out there who are FURIOUS and indignant that the powers that be could DARE put Robin Christopher up against (literally) someone who is not a seasoned soap vet, but honey, I have it on absolutely authority that SHE sure isn't complaining! On the contrary, she couldn't be more thrilled! So pull your panties out of your crack (put down the pipe that has the crack in it) and sit back to watch the heat! God knows we are in DESPERATE need of Anti-Journey, so bring it on!!!

As always, if I hear anything else, I'll sure let you know! Meanwhile, I'll leave you with this. Not a tease...but a strong hunch based on some things I'm hearing:

Darlings, Sage has had such a horrible almost 12 hours, you just so would not believe!! I was diligently pecking away at my column last night, chortling over the little tidbits of what all is going on, when suddenly, the monitor said "Pfft" and went blank and the computer shut itsdamnself down! (??!!) I turned it back on and could hear the machine running, but nothing. Not to be outdone, Sage has a backup monitor!! Plugged in backup monitor, nothing. >:< Called my computer geek, Kurt of The Head Game and he was doing something completely ignorant like Christmas shopping with Max (pfft) and wouldn't be done for a couple of hours. He bitched at me about my POS computer for a while and said he'd be over later. I wait. And wait. And wait. To his credit, he did not stop to have dinner with Max as planned and made it over around 7pm. Max was bitching about being hungry, so before we settled down to a long winter's computer overhaul, they insisted that we go out for Mexican food. *sigh* So off we go and I ate something that looked like squirrel crammed into a tortilla with a pile of cheese on it and fumed over the time I was wasting. Yes, I love Kurt and Max and yes, it was totally cool of him to drop everything and come right over, but damn. My computer means a LOT to me. So we finally got back home and the squirrel fundito or whatever I ate was sqimming (I meant to write "swimming," but squimming actually sounds more like what it was doing...swimming sounds very benign, comparatively speaking) around in my belly making sloshy sounds.

Kurt set to work and discovered some kind of video card issue and all kinds of geek talk that only people who have rolled the old 12-sided dice about a hundred times too many can understand. My voice started to get really shrill, sort of like Lisa Simpson on crack and he worked a little faster. Anyway (lovin that Kurt!), he happened to have an extra video card, so he grabbed it and it worked, but none of my Word programs would talk to the computer for some reason, so he started reformatting this and that and pretty soon, all my favorites had disappeared off of my Internet Explorer and my messages and addresses were gone from my e-mail program. >:< He suggested that the only way Word and more importantly, Front Page that I use to post to you guys, was going to work was if I reinstalled them. OF COURSE, I no longer have the Office 2000 disk because I had borrowed them from Margie and she reclaimed them in October when she was here from mom's birthday. Again, >:<. So I ended up having to (pssst, you didn't hear this) download it overnight because it took something like 7 hours to download and I couldn't even WRITE my column to you except in my head and my stomach was getting more and more jacked up. The upshot was Kurt once again bitching about my computer (as if I don't know) and telling me how much better it was running with the XP than the Me (true) and telling me nothing could be done until morning when I could install the newly downloaded Office 2000. I thanked him profusely, called Max and apologized for stealing her husband for the night (to which she replied, "Pfft, as if you could" - bitch), posted the situation at the Sage Brush Ranch board and went to bed with some peppermint tea (Great minds, Kate!) and boo hoo'd myself to sleep.

This morning, sure enough, I installed the program and all seems to be well, so you can expect a column and a Sage's search very soon, after which I intend to collapse into a destroyed little Sage heap.

PS: A reader sent me a PILE of wonderful snappies, but didn't have tracking for where they
all came from. If I use any that are yours and you'd like the credit, just lemme know. :)

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